“old habits die hard
so i will fucking slaughter them.”
by Bry LeBerthon
“You Told the World I Wrote About You”
Fiction. Based on a True Mother-Daughter Relationship.
This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.
Trigger Warning: our program often motivates people to discuss their trauma. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, please, take a step back to address emotional flashbacks and trauma before continuing to push yourself. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline at (1-800) 273-8255.
You told the world I wrote about you,
horrible things, and everything in-between.
I was all you hated in the world —
a reminder because I am the daughter.
You hated when I had a glimmer of a thought:
“Keep it to yourself. You’re no fun!”
I was older, and you treated me as a china doll —
can’t go anywhere or do anything alone.
Alone is a fond memory.
You didn’t believe me when I said,
“something is wrong, I hurt.”
You became a thief when you stole my pain
and made it your own, but I set it on the platter.
You taught me to hate my body and
everything in-between my breasts.
I had this voice in my head that shouted,
“skip dinner! She said you’ll get fat.”
You screamed at me when my body
came out imperfect and broken.
I’m a rag-doll that needed to be sewn
back together, again and again and again.
You told the world I wrote about you
and I am surprised you aren’t on fire.
You taught me to hate me.