“That’s when she really pulled away and it really triggered me deeply…why does this pattern keep repeating itself over and over again?” – Dan Vega
Fiction. Based on a True Trip Down the Hall.
This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.
Walking down the hall at work you are suddenly struck with a memory. A few years ago sitting on the Light Rail – Seattle’s pathetic attempt at bullet trains – an elderly man made the following comment after watching you and your ex for a moment.
“Cherish that. It fades over time.”
He was so quiet you barely heard him. When you look across the aisle to where he was sitting, he wore a faint, sad smile. Your hand was still lingering by the side of your ex’s face. You’d just tucked a loose hair behind her ear. She laughed nervously, always cautious of public displays of affection between two girls. But as you let your hand drop, you knew exactly what he meant.
Someday these tender moments will go away. You will lose them. The affection fades over time. Morphs into something else. Endless, brazen shows of want and desire change through the course of time. Maybe for him it was because his partner was no longer alive, they’d separated, or some other fateful end. His experience spoke a warning to us. Our new love. Cautioning us not to take it for granted.
As the memory comes back, you remember before the elderly man spoke up, as you brushed that hair away, your ex had pushed your hand back. To stop you. So that is why he spoke up. To warn her. Don’t push her away. She may stop someday. That was his unspoken warning. He was right, too. You did stop.
Last night lying on the bed you asked your partner to come over. She asked why. You sighed and began to wonder. Why did you ask? When she did come over to where you’d sprawled out, she asked what you wanted. In an embarrassed, hushed voice, you asked for a kiss. She leaned down and kissed you but got up as soon as the embrace was over.
Reflecting again on that elderly man from so many years previously, you think to yourself.
“Things really do fade over time.”