“The Tourist” Fiction. Based on a True Auschwitz-Birkenau Visit.

“I didn’t know it’s going to bring everything back. I didn’t know it will be a medicine. I did not know it will help me to get over that. It was not a plan, but definitely, it did its job.” 

-Tomer Peretz

“The Tourist”

Fiction. Based on a True Auschwitz-Birkenau Death Camps.

This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.

by Mingjie Zhai

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Auschwitz, Poland

February, 2019

You buy the book Victor E. Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. It was 45 zglots. You realize this is less than $9. The woman gives you the book and a bottle of water as a bonus. The water bottle is God’s way of reminding you, “Man must not live by bread alone, but by the Word of God.” This book was recommended to you more than once. Once in a co-creation meeting, another through a family friend. Then Dr. Jordan Peterson mentioned it a few times. Now is the time to read it. Now, at the very grounds where Victor E. Frankl stayed as a dead man walking.  

You are better at listening to the consciousness that tells you to act and not act–that voice is becoming more clear, now that you are sober. It’s as if Jiminy Cricket is back and you have an opportunity to become a real person and not just some puppet on strings with your face looking more ridiculous every time you lie.

The truth will indeed set you free. One step at a time, starting with the discipline of paying attention to that Jiminy Cricket voice and following through with its instructions.

Buy the book.

Jiminy says.

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Krakow, Poland

February 2019

You go through the door that welcomes prayers instead of the door that welcomes tourists. You are not allowed to take photos and videos as a worshipper. You are still tempted to take photos and videos anyway. The separation between work and intimacy is clear here. You begin realizing the error of your ways in trying to fuse all of it together all the time, especially when it comes to your personal love life. Still, you are staying true to the journaling experience. Still, privacy is critical to the spiritual development of the individual, because it is only when you are alone that you have the space to process what it is you are actually in need of asking God to bless, remove, and forgive (and not always in that order).


You kneel before the portrait of Mother Mary, with the two blood lines tracing down her right cheek. You pray for guidance and ask Mother Mary what is the path you must take that honors your soul’s highest good from this point forward. Then you get up from the kneeling pew, towards a bench where the blood on her cheeks seem to be pointing towards. As if she is saying, sit, be with me. You are now up close and personal with her. There, on the bench, was a note in Polish. You clasp your hands and look up at Mother Mary. She tells you that the two lines of blood coming down her right cheeks represent the two blood lines living together yet walking in different paths: Those who take the left hand path and those who take the right hand path. She tells you that Jesus forgives the worst sins, and His second coming are for those who have taken the left hand path, thus the second line of blood tracing in parallel with the first blood line down her right cheek. Through the blood of Christ’s second coming, all those who have taken the left hand path will also be redeemed. Her right cheek has the two blood lines and her left cheek is hidden in the shadows.


You thank her for the confirmation you have received in March of 2018, the fourth psychosis, where you received the prophecy of the big why of Jesus’ second coming.


Next, you pray for the strength to forgive yourself. Then you wait. Mother Mary comes through. She tells you to forgive your trespasses because Christ has already forgiven you when you had repented the first time. She then tells you that she too, like yourself, was at one time self-absorbed, self-centered and full of self-pity. It was her son, Christ, who taught her how to have self-respect, be lost in the self-forgetting so that one may find, and learn self-care and self-love by the way her son had brought so much joy, satisfaction, and peace in her spirit. She reassures you that what you are experiencing is not unique. She tells you that she was once filled with fear, doubt, and had to contend with every bit of the toxic feminine spirits you are now aware of and contending with. And yet, Mother Mary tells you, Christ redeemed her through her act as a mother.


You smile. Mother Mary is being vulnerable with you. Go figure.


You thank her, do the Catholic cross sign, just cause it seems appropriate (When in Krakow…), and you proceed to where the candles were lit. It was 2 zloty donation and you picked up a candle for donating. You did not see any matches, only lit candles glowing together. You had to light your candle with someone else’s candle already burning. The first attempt did not catch. You wonder if this is appropriate. You are still hoping for a lighter while you make your first attempt to light your candle with someone else’s lit candle. You look around. No lighter. This must be how people light their candles, you conclude. You now turn to a second candle burning. This time, it took. This time, you were more patient with it, without all the guilt of “should I be doing this? Am I doing something wrong?” This time, you knew you were supposed to light the candle, so this time, it took.


With your candle lit, you then stare at the fire burning and meditate. Mary’s voice came through again. You will go back to Los Angeles one day. When the time comes, you will know. God is already preparing you to be the mother of two children you will adopt when you go back. Do not worry about how you will provide for them. God will provide you with all your needs to provide for them. This will be a lifetime choice. You will be their mother. Your partner will come one day. It could be before, it could be during, it could be after. But first, learn how to nurture and take care of yourself so you may nurture your children. The road will be both tough and satisfying, for it will bring you both challenges and joy, an adventurous life and a peaceful mind with a restful heart.


You think of Gandhi’s advice to the Muslim who killed the Indian boy during the Indian civil war, post liberation from the British. The Muslim approached Gandhi in despair. “How can I ever wash the blood stains from my hands?” Gandhi replied, “Go out and adopt an Indian boy and make him your son.”


There is your answer.


The week prior, you and your Polish sponsor sat down at Cool Cats and she told you the story of her friend who adopted two kids, one 8 and the other 10. Earlier that morning prior to your dinner with her, you were thinking of adopting kids around the same age range.

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He meets you in Siren’s Safehouse, where you choose to order your second Chai Latte for the evening. You two talked about what happened after the Nazis left. “It was worse when Russia came to ‘help us,’” Mr. Blue eyes told you. “People were starving. People lied. The older generation still thinks this way. It never goes away,” he says.

“The brainwash?” you ask.

“The gaslighting.”

“That makes sense. My dad came from that era. He escaped Communism on a scholarship to USC,” you say, “but he couldn’t escape the mindset.”

“Yeah, my father grew up here in Krakow when the Bolsheviks took over. He would bark orders at me all the time. Sometimes, it made no sense.”

“…yeah, I remember when my dad would just expect me to shut up and obey. I hated that,” you say, “I think both our fathers were just trying to teach us how to survive.”

You both smile.

Mr. Blue eyes continues, “I have a daughter now. And I don’t think I would have done any different. It was a lot tougher back then. You had to lie, manipulate, become the jack of all trades just to live. You did not have means of feeding your family if you did not make friends with the people who could connect you, move you up, or give you the means of surviving. My dad wanted to build a house and had to ask a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend for this material, and then ask a friend of a friend to provide that material, etc. It was all done mouth to hand.”


You are ashamed that you had any resentments against your father who hustled, played the ugly game, danced with the jester in the tyrant king’s court, just so one day his daughter, you, don’t have to. And you did not have to. You were protected from it, insulated, incubated in a suburban bubble, and in your teen years, you did not appreciate the privilege you had received. Dad gave you a car you did not earn, a roof over your head, food in your belly, and you attended a Blue Ribbon California Distinguished school and you went to a decent California university in La Jolla by the Pacific Ocean. You grew up under a flag that preached tolerance, diversity, and freedom of speech. You pledge your allegiance to the flag, of the United States of America, and to the Republic, for which it stands, one Nation, Under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all, while your right hand felt your heart beating.


Both your Dad and Dr. Jordan Peterson taught you why it is so important to tell the truth in Rule 8 of 12 Rules for Life. So perhaps, it was your father’s bipolar way of being honest in an environment where the status quo was to tell lies that sealed his fate in leaving the insanity of the political structure of his mother country, in hopes of starting a proper life in America, a land that represented free speech, free thought, and individual responsibility in improving one’s lot in life. You no longer buy into the lie that only liars, cheaters, and those who play the zero-sum game win. You perhaps imagine that it is because your father broke lies with the truth, when he discovered how powerful the act of telling the truth is. Perhaps that moment of revelation came that time he was struck with meningitis. It was the moment when he was touched by God and when the fever turned his single eyelids into double. Perhaps, it was this obedience to the conscious, his Jiminy Cricket, that became the key ingredient in surviving the game. But first, he had to play the game.

He had to.

That’s how you recognized Trump’s playbook.

It’s the Villain’s Shadow Playbook.

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The fact is, your mother has been brainwashed and narcissistically abused from the impact of Maoist communism. It developed in your grandmother, when she told your mother the story of how only three of the nine children survived. What happened to the other six? Were they eaten? Neglected? Sacrificed? Where they treated like livestock and observed for how “fit” they were to play this game called life, and then thrown out or neglected when they realized how weak they were? You believe it was your mother, in her best of intentions, who wanted you to learn the ways of survival. That means to obey rules without question, as this would mean being likable, as this would mean creating the veneer of strength. Being likable meant surviving in the world because she played that card of acting dumb and pretending to be light so she could attract Mr. Right. Only she knew how insane the world is, how tough climbing that pyramid really is, and how manipulation can get you from point A to point B. When you were five, she taught you the ways of surviving as a woman, the power of acting dumb and naive, of how to turn a willful blind eye, in the act of clumsiness, forgetfulness, and helplessness. You remember the lessons from Sleepy Beauty, Snow White, and The Little Mermaid. A princess worth rescuing is a princess that does not have a voice of her own, is helpless, and sleeps. The prince will come. Just wait. For this is a power of survival that your mother played in key places and spaces that has benefited her chances of staying alive. Your mother is a survivor and so is your dad. Thus, you received the luxury, the privilege of living like a princess, and have been given gifts of insight, access, and connections that few in this world have. Unknowingly, your mother taught you the ways of survival through the positive reinforcement of looking the other way, acting naive, and keeping secrets in complicit silence.


In her world, more is rewarded when you act helpless than if you were to point out the truth and stand on it. She saw the depth of your eyes. Panic set in–panic that you would sink rather than swim with those kind of keen eyes. The threat of the communists taking you away for pointing out the truth was real in her reality. Your mother grew up living in a world where one plus one equals three so long as the most powerful person in the room says so. Your mother needed you to survive because she loves you very much, so in some ways, she thought she was doing you a service by gaslighting you. She would often tell you that it’s not good to know so much, to think so deeply, to be in other people’s business. Look the other way. Be likable and act dumb. Stay pretty.


Perhaps, your mother even envied you, without becoming self aware she was envious of you, yet it manifested blindly when a lot of times, she would point out your bad character attributes. Perhaps, it was to discourage you from growing this character attribute of being authentic because there is no place for a young woman to speak her truth when people around you are all wearing masks. Your mother was right. If you had been the way you are now in her younger days, living in Maoist China, you would have been jailed, beaten, and shot. Yet, your mother still coveted your courage to be authentic and tell the truth, even if it at times the truth is bitter and ugly.


Still, you felt alone. Your grandmother had left when you were four. That was traumatic. There were no more fairytale stories read to you after that, no more truth telling in the silver lining of the storyline. It was you against the two of them.

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Gaslighting, Manipulation, and Moral Relativity


Resentments against Communism and…


Gaslighting, manipulation, moral relativity were the tools of this “utopia” that left God out and made man as gods, being the deliverer of moral righteousness. Mao took the supernatural out and made himself the godhead instead. He saw only power as god, and ideals as morally relative based on the power of human consensus. This is why he needed to have control over all means of media, manufacturing, and meeting basic needs of the human condition. He needed to be needed, he wanted to be wanted, which meant propaganda, manipulation, and deception as tools of social control. Social engineering is their aim. They are the Socialists. In order to create this utopia, the State had to own all means of production, media, and justice. The People belonged to the State. And the State needed a Father-head, which conveniently meant Mao, Stalin, and all the great figurehead authoritarians, designed themselves to be as gods, perfect.


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Victor E. Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning:

“I generally answered all kinds of questions truthfully. But I was silent about anything that was not expressly asked for.” -Victor E. Frankl

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The tour guide does not like her job. You could tell by the way she sighs between breaths when she introduces herself and the day. She emphasizes the breaks and glosses over the actual historical significance of the two concentration camps or of the pilgrimage a group full of international people in the bus are making to be there. It is about a 60 minute ride from where you are staying. She then talks about the rules, in between sighs. She does not hide her displeasure at these rules by emphasizing to us that she did not make up these rules. She may have once upon a time ago dreamed of being an actress or a news reporter, and perhaps, she thought, being a tour guide would be a stepping stone. But things don’t turn out the way one dreams, she thinks. Thus,


you immediately tune her out. You don’t like the tour guide. You are embarrassed for her because she reminds you of the greater part of yourself as a teacher. You were seven years past your cut off point. You wanted to be a photographer and travel journalist except you stayed because Sonny wanted a home bodied wife and you were playing a role you thought he wanted rather than the role you actually wanted. At least that was the excuse you made up for yourself. The truth is that you were just like her, resigned, fearing she was not good enough to try out for the big league, terrified of failure, because then, what would other people think of you?


You did not have your own independent thought, your own likes and dislikes. It was not cultivated much because the identity you had chosen, the likes and dislikes were not validated and recognized from your mother’s emotional absence and obsession with perfection. Perhaps this was the narcissism, a byproduct of Socialist mentality, which comes from self-absorption, self-pity and self-centeredness, fueled by big ambitions without the fortitude, discipline, and faith to process it. Perhaps that is why you brought your headphones to tune her out, the way you had tuned out your mother’s voice, who was hardly happy, and who paid too much attention on broken rules than on the blessings of what’s present. But who can blame her now that you know the root of the dark toxic feminine. Kali, Chaos, the Ying, these are all collective powers that are beyond your mother’s power, beyond your power, beyond your matrilineal bloodline to defeat. Your mother grew up in an environment where she was constantly gaslit herself. You no longer can blame your mother for how you wound up, and you no longer can cast stones at the young female tour guide who hates her job.

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The weeping trees remind you of the spirits still mourning over the events that happened less than a hundred years ago. An affective valence, a spirit, guides you. It is a sunny spring morning. You are in a group of 29 disconnected tourists. Most are clumped up in parties of two or three, and only you and the Berlin Blondie are the two solo women tourists. She is pale with blue eyes, blonde hair, and perhaps a bit shy, but talkative. She says her name is Catalina. You lose her in the group among many groups that morning, an international community of tourists coming together, from different buses, different programs, different countries, walking together in headphones where the tour guide talks into his mic and you all listen, as long as you are within the bluetooth vicinity of its radar.


Before entering Block 4, you open up Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. It reads “I therefore felt responsible for writing down what I had gone through, for I thought it might be helpful for people who are prone to despair.”


If you didn’t know any better, you’d think that you were in a tour about the American Colonies based on the brick buildings and the way it was aligned together. The double layered 400 volt barbed wires were a clue in that this was utopia gone awry. Six million Poles, Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals, prisoners of war, and traitors who helped the Jews, and defected soldiers from duty were sent here. This wasn’t the first death camp, but it was the most effective one at killing.


You realize while walking through the brown bricks of each block that there is energy that carries through. Spirits want you to write down what they have discovered now that they have a bird’s eye-hindsight-2020 view of what had happened.


Block 4, Zaglada, or the “Extermination Block,” is where you all first start. The number Four in Chinese is the number of death. Some tourists around you are coughing. The cough and flu virus has been going around. But you are immune to it now because you started building up the antivirus when you were in bed with the flu the last two weeks you were in Berlin. You remember Aaron called you the first time in a month while you were at the emergency room, when you were infected with the virus. At the emergency room, the Germans drew your blood to check your flu. That was suspect. You think the Germans are drawing your blood so they can take your DNA for EU Agenda 21 processing.   


While inside Block 4, you open up the book again and read page nine of the preface, written by Harold S. Kushner, “We have come to recognize that this is a profoundly religious book. It insists that life is meaningful and that we must learn to see life as meaningful despite our circumstances.


As you enter the place, it is eerily quiet. You all have headphones, so you hear the voice of the tour guide, who works for the Museum, separate from the girl tour guide whose job apparently was to just tell you the rules of the camp. This tour guide, Mr. Brudzinski was the official Camp’s tour guide. He spoke through this bluetooth / walkie-talkie device that connected you to him, along with the 28 other headphones from the 28 tourists in your tour group. Your group were among a dozen other groups from different travel companies that bused people in from different areas–Scotland, Italy, UK, Germany, and you from Poland as an American Expat. Even though you stayed in Warsaw for the month, you paid 13 Euros to bus from Warsaw to Krakow and found a place through Airbnb in the heart of Market Square in Krakow for three days so you can write, fight, and recover from this event.


The tour guide describes how they were killed. There were five to ten people brought together, confined within a square meter, with hooks on the ceiling to hang their clothes and shower heads installed to give the veneer that they would be just rinsing off, he tells your group. The tour guide makes note that the Nazis installed the shower heads so that the mass would not panic or rebel. Only the Capos knew what was really going on. The Capos were also prisoners but who were appointed to “bark orders” at their own people and do the dirty work of cremating their fellow inmates, while keeping their complicit silence. Only Capos were given special treatment and alcohol so they could continue lying to themselves that they were somehow going to be the exception.


They started with pesticides, specifically Zyklon B, which proved the most effective at suffocating and melting away any evidence of their existence. Then, they were immediately sent off for cremation. It was the Capos–prisoners who acted as “trustees,”  who did the dirty work, moving dead bodies from the “showers” to the crematory. They drank alcohol to forget that one day, they will be demoted and be among those cremated.


While your group were looking at prison documents behind encased glass and portraits of the photos taken there, you were doing the same and reading the thin tiny pocket book on your left hand. You read the preface by Harold S. Kushner, “His experience in Auschwitz, terrible as it was, reinforced what was already one of his key ideas. Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning. The great task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. Frankl saw three possible sources for meaning: in work (doing something significant), in love (caring for another person, as Frankl held on to the image of his wife through the darkest days in Auschwitz), and in courage in difficult times.” 

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In Block 11, there were portraits lined up against the walls of some people who passed through this very building you are now also passing through. Each room has a description of the conditions, the “what it was like” between 1940 through 1945. Each room felt like a horror exhibition show–one room is where people starved, another room is where people spill their guts out from Typhus and dysentery, and another room was clean and pristine. You stopped at this room that belonged to the SS. Instinctively, you knew that this was the biggest torture room. This is the room where people thought they were doing the world a service, where people thought they were the heros, not realizing that they were becoming the very monsters they sought to eradicate. This is the room where people played gods, judged all, and where their souls became the true reflection of the sick, emaciated, and dying people, trapped in the other rooms, under their directives.


The SS, which in German, translates to “Protection Squad,” were the true punchlines in this sick joke. They thought themselves the saviors while they were becoming monsters as each day wears away at their souls for being either an active or passive agent of bringing hell on earth through cold blooded murder. They treated their roles as a job, like one would treat the title, “exterminator,” or “plumber,” as a job. It’s just what needed to be done. Day in and day out, they clock in and clock out, some for years, to this hell hole they have concocted in an ideology, a life-lie of the ”master race,” ridding the world of the source of all evil by killing off the evils of other people’s evil first, completely blind to the truth that evil clocks in and clocks out in a uniform with fat fingers and fat tummies, numb, dumb, and blinded to their own evil ways.


While the prisoners got skinnier, their energy weakening, their skulls defining and rib cages protruding, and their cries more desperate, the perpetrators were having to witness this slow wasting away as a projection of their own consciousness, like a picture of Dorian Gray. As a Nazis warden, you can look into the block you are in charge of and see the sallow, pathetic, desperate portrait of your own soul by the way you have treated your neighbor. This is the spiritual law of, Life and Death is in the power of the Tongue. And though physically they are plump and healthy, spiritually, their souls are the exact figure of those they have projected their hatred towards.

While they had kept them wallowing in their own feces, under nourished, made into functional numbers for war purposes (work or die), the Nazi manifested their hatred towards them in the guise of racial superiority. This life-lie later festered into full blown Narcissism, when they acted out the life-lie that they were acting on God’s directive to “cleanse” the human race, and in the spell of Narcissism, one is capable of doing all kinds of evil acts in the name of “good.”

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The German people who followed Hitler were under a hypnotic spell, a powerful one, and a spell is basically acting out a life-lie. The life-lie they lived out is that the Jews were the root cause of all of the world’s problems. This is one of the tricks of the devil–the magic trick of projection.

…a spell is basically acting out a life-lie.

A projection is when one is experiencing toxic evil within their own heart and hides it in shame and guilt but recognizes it in another, so instead of grappling with the evil within one’s own heart, one will call it out on the other, judge them, and punish the other in hopes that by correcting the other, the one who is perpetrating the judgement will be somehow secretly redeemed only after the other is fixed.


This is the Left Hand Path: To play mini-gods by exacting judgement and punishment for what one arbitrates as good and bad, to create your own meaning inside of empty and meaningless. They picked an eye pigment and skin color and told the rest of the world that this eye color and skin color is the best. Their might in their knowledge, technology, and strength is justified as right. Pride, vainglory, and self-righteousness gave them the fuel to organize, build, and revivify their spirits and they needed an enemy, a scapegoat, to come together. Conveniently, their self-righteous fight came down to killing off God’s chosen people–the first group that carried the weight of God’s covenant. Is it a coincidence? No. It’s not. For if God and the devil are real, then the devil would be attacking God’s covenant holders wouldn’t he?


It would be the devil whispering lies to the bitter and broken that they are where they are because of what someone else did. Play god, judge them. Play god, judge them. The devil whispers in their ears, day in and day out, as they clock in and clock out of their jobs as “exterminators.” Tick tock. Tick tock. Play god, judge them.


And when the SS carried out orders to kill, when the officers and the Capos began prodding them like cattle into gas chambers, to strip them of their humanity, dignity, and basic right to live, then the only way for them to justify their actions is to take the left hand path of becoming their own gods, making meaning out of their own measuring sticks to what is good and what is bad. In this context, life is empty and meaningless and it is empty and meaningless that it is empty and meaningless, so they get to create their own meanings. These are the power tools of master manipulators and magic wielders of this matrix. With all their best intentions operating through dark magic and leveraging occultic practices, they were able to carry out satan’s orders to kill off as many vessels of God’s people who were and still are tasked to carry out God’s will to bring peace and wealth on earth.


Just from personal experience working with, making friends with, and getting to know Jewish people in Los Angeles, you admire them for knowing how to apply God’s word and receive God’s blessing because they respect and follow God’s commands. Following God’s command of forgiveness, forbearance, and self-forgetting creates abundance and operates on a non-zero-sum game. The wealthy have wealthy mentalities, because they rely upon God to renew their minds daily. When in covenant with God, their acts of kindness, patience, and service bears fruit, and a healthy family unit is the solid foundation of that wealth building. More love bears more love. Disaffected people with resentments unresolved and distracted by the green eye of envy, defers their own responsibilities of taking on the hero’s journey, resulting in the temptation to take the left hand path (shunning away from God’s calling for your life and creating self-justifications for it).


King Sisyphus was punished for his trickery by moving a stone up an endless steep hill. This is a metaphor of those who judge and carry the burden and the weight of the world by playing gods. This is the road of insanity, in becoming your own gods, knowing (judging) good and evil.


The rock is the same rock that people used to throw at Mary Magdalene before Jesus intervened and asked those who have hands raised with their stone ready to throw, “Whoever is without sin, cast the first stone,” and it had to be within the confines of a Jewish community because that is the community who received God’s commandments first.


Judge and be judged.

Forgive and you will be forgiven.


But you now believe that the perpetrator has it worse in the grand scheme of the character role it plays. For even though the perpetrator has temporary comfort–food, water, shelter, an identity, temporary power–they have to carry all the rocks of judgement. You saw a room that says, “Exploiting the corpses.”

You think to yourself, whose corpses were really exploited in this scenario?

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Upon leaving Block 11, you go to the courtyard where it was routine to line up prisoners and shoot them execution style. There were flowers behind the bullet ridden black wooden planks that scaled the brick walls. One bouquet of roses were red, white and blue, a gift from the United States. You head there, bow your head and you pray.


Thank you, for being God’s chosen first to act out the role that few of us wanted to take so we can see, for generations to come, the exact nature of evil. Because we have seen it play out, we now know what evil is. Evil is the “better than,” the “one up,” the “in order for me to live you must die,” the “in order for me to be okay in my skin, you must get out of yours,” the zero-sum game.


Thank you for being the first to carry God’s word and to reveal through the roles you have played, the greatest test the world needed to witness, that this is what happens when one chooses to create their own meanings, their own realities, their own moral righteousness.


Through the roles you have played, you helped the world see the nature of evil. Because of what you have experienced, the world is beginning to wake up to the insanity of this world of projections. Thank you for acting out the hardest roles on this world stage.


Tears well up and you allow them to surge through your tear ducts down your cheeks. You realize that somewhere in another higher dimension, in another playing field of reality, we had all chosen our roles before incarnating here. You did not choose to actually act out the roles in the Auschwitz play of 1940-1945. Either roles were tough roles to play. Instead, you waited 80 years later to come to this Auschwitz stage and you chose the role of journal-artist who will journal what the spirits are telling you in a journal entry sitting comfortably by the Baltic sea in Dubrovnik, Croatia, on a balcony, with breakfast in your belly and a vanilla latte next to your Macbook Air. You give thanks to all the actors that acted out the tragedy in 1940-1945, so you can write what you are writing now. That is why you are crying in front of the black wooden planks where bullet holes riddle with reminders of what would happen if you acted out the left hand playbook to its abyss.  


The new covenant of God’s Love made manifest through the walk of Jesus Christ makes one thing clear. God loves us more than we love us. From this vantage point, you can see the tragedy in all this. You can see that both the perpetrator and the victim suffered, and even though the victims suffered more in the flesh, it was the perpetrators who suffered more in the spirit. They had to witness themselves act out evil. They locked up their consciousness like they locked up five men to a room and squeezed, poisoned, and suffocated. The mass killing machine is the product of the left hand path gone unchecked, self-will run riot.


The Nazis played god.


The Magic Finger

“He [the officer] had assumed an attitude of careless ease…None of us had the slightest idea of the sinister meaning behind that little movement of a man’s finger, pointing now to the right and now to the left, but far more frequently to the left.

Frankl, Viktor E., et al. Man’s Search for Meaning: the Classic Tribute to Hope from the Holocaust. Rider, 2008. Preface p. 25

“The significance of that finger was explained to us that evening. It was the first selection, the first verdict made on our existence and non-existence. For the great majority of our transport, about 90 per cent, it meant death. Their sentence was carried out within the next few hours.

Viktor p. 25

You can only stay at the death camp for a few short hours. The thought of coming here day in and day out is the hell that bears the greatest burden. At Block 11 they showed you the details of the living conditions. Yes, 1200 were packed into a brick building with a room capacity of 200, and they could barely lay down, but their time there is short, soon to be transported to a different dimension. But the room where the SS stayed, that is the most tortuous room the devil machinated for the few who played death in this horror show, for they played both the monster and the fool. They played the character of the fool because they thought they were playing the hero roles when they were actually playing the monster. Everybody else in that building knew they were working for the devil, both angels and fallen angels knew, but the few that clocked in and out wearing uniforms that said, “Protection Squadron,” thought they were the saviors. The joke is really on the punchline.


The Nazis were indeed already punched.

The Lessons the Holy Ghosts Told You to Write Down



Hurt people hurt people.

You can’t use the same method to solve the problem with the same method that created it.

You can’t become evil while fighting evil.

It’s not the color of your eyes, your skin, your culture, and even if it is…even if you are the superior race, so what? What’s the point if you have not love?

It’s not technology because what is technology but an amplification of its intent? A knife that can cook food can be used to kill. A nuclear power plant could light up an entire city and it can also be used to destroy an entire city. Even if the Jewish conspiracy were true about annihilating the entire German people, revealed in Mein Kampf, Hitler’s My Struggle, it really doesn’t matter does it when you become the very evil you proclaim you are fighting?

Nazi used to be a label worn with pride, and the word represented a perfect world. “Nazi” meant orderly, precise, and superior… evolution closest to how God designed us to become, so the Nazis made all their means justify the ends.


If the means of becoming perfect means having to become evil first, then what’s the point of being perfect if in the end it will mean being perfectly evil? The algorithm of the being your own gods and moral relatively does not work. The events acted out and played out here is empirical evidence that it does not work.

Now the word Nazi means the fool, the evil fool.



[aesop_chapter title=”The Nature of Evil” bgtype=”color” full=”on” img=”http://www.mingjiezhai.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/IMG_4678.mov” video_autoplay=”on” bgcolor=”#212121″ revealfx=”off” overlay_revealfx=”off”]

Such is the nature of evil.

Evil tells the prostitute that she is a star, and she is the fool.

Evil tells the thief that he is a freedom fighter and he is the fool.

Evil tells the Nazis that they are cleaning the world of evil as they are being and becoming more evil and thus the Nazis are the fools.

Evil tells the boys on pleasure island that they are creating a new utopia when they become active agents to their own self destruction, turning into donkeys.



[aesop_chapter title=”Through the Nazis’ Eyes” bgtype=”color” full=”on” img=”http://www.mingjiezhai.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/IMG_4678.mov” video_autoplay=”on” bgcolor=”#000000″ revealfx=”off” overlay_revealfx=”off”]

When you learned about the Holocaust in high school, you had learned it through the eyes of the victim. Now that you are here, ground zero, at the site of the killings, you are perceiving it through the eyes of the killers. You recall Dr. Jordan Peterson’s take on reading history through the eyes of the perpetrator, and you put yourself in the shoes of one. As someone capable of pushing the button, telling someone to go inside the death chamber, knowing they are about to become poisoned. You think of yourself as someone capable of yelling at them, beating them, and treating them as if they were pests, vermin, evil disgusting maggots. You may have deep seated resentments, hatred, and justified blame towards them for causing all of life’s sufferings–your sufferings, or you may not. It could just be the fact that the lines are drawn and you have to choose a side, and you would rather choose the “winning” side. You would have to then put the decent part of your consciousness away, compartmentalize it, lock it somewhere tight in a small container, barely breathing, so you can disassociate yourself from the reality that you are killing babies, women, children that were once or could have been potentially your neighbors, dentists, doctors, professors, musicians, counselors, teachers, and lovers. You would have to live on the life-lie that you play a key role in sending them to their premature deaths for a greater cause.  


This would take massive disassociation, and that disassociation is then projected into reality when you would come up with the cruel idea of packing together men like sardines into tight cells with only a hole to ventilate through because that would be a reflection of your subconscious when you have packed all the decent parts of you into a tight cell, in hopes of killing it.


This is why you can’t be a toxic feminine criticizing and judging other women who exhibit toxic femininity because you are that of the same quality you judge, thereby once again locked in the same conundrum that the Nazis experienced in the death camps.


In the Nazis’ eyes, all Jews were scums. It was quite apparent that all the scums cared about was to save their own hides. Just look at the way the Capos acted.


“…prominent Capos–prisoners who acted as trustees, having special privileges–or well-known prisoners….it was these common prisoners, who bore no distinguishing marks on their sleeves, whom the Capos really despised. While these ordinary prisoners had nothing to eat, the Capos were never hungry; in fact many of the Capos fared better in the camp than they had in their entire lives. Often they were harder on the prisoners than were the guards, and beat them more cruelly than the SS men did…if they did not comply with what was expected of them, they were immediately demoted. They soon became much like the SS men and the camp wardens and may be judged on a similar psychological basis.


Setting up the game so that the temptation of selling out is strong, the Nazis created this positive feedback loop to reinforce their point of view that all Jews are evil and are capable of selling out their own kind for a temporary relief so they can justify their act of killing them. In the Nazis eyes, they could plainly see evil, but they do not realize that they have set themselves up in the same trap within evil’s net. Thus, the act of setting up this trap is evil in and of itself.


Sociopathy is a way to cope with the evil that has taken control of you. You were a puppet on strings with a nose as tall as the lie you’ve come up with. You, the Nazis, hated yourself yet you lusted after that power of hatred by hurting and reinforcing your hidden secret that you were actually the monster. The lust for power, the lust for control, the lust for blood, seeing others suffer, whimper at your feet, begging you, being nice to you because you held their life and death fate at the movement of a finger, the enjoyment for exacting pain in the other to give you the temporary “hit” of power, like a “hit” from the meth pipe, is the devil’s spell and you and your Nazis friends were all spell bound.


As a Nazis, you were also both sexually frustrated and sexually heightened by this cruelty you exact upon the weak. The smell of death, the irritation of feeling trapped in this role that you don’t want to even play but you play to stay alive, you play because all your friends are playing this role, and you play because you’re either the part in power or your the part that is exterminated, and all that angst for choosing to be the perpetrator gets channeled into the demon on your back, riding you like a mule, while you whip someone who can’t defend himself, and the more you whip the more your soul morphs into a sociopathic monster. The more you become a monster, the more you believe in the life-lie that you are here to exact punishment for good. And the more you act out this life-lie of social utopia through the beatings, torture, and killings, the more your soul corrodes like one drinking battery acid.


You were the vessel used by the demons to bring hell on earth and you were living in the shit you were creating through your shoulds. You shoulded all over the world and shoulded all over yourself.


You had to stay in the death camps longer, day in and day out, the smell of death, putrid Typhus, the smell of piss, shit, blood, and despair. Cries of sorrow, wretched whimpers, and then sobs of men broken. Children and women crying. You hate your job. You hate coming back to this hell hole. You hate having to act like you have it all together while you order your soldiers to do this and that just so more can come and more can be killed. You can’t stand the vermin who carry their own people’s bodies back and forth, stealing from each other, what rats! They will also one day be demoted and thrown in the furnace. Good riddance! As soon as we rid the world of all these vermin, the sooner I can go back to normal life with my family, with my normal job. I hate this role. I’m tired of it. Most of all, I hate the smell. I hate hate hate the smell. It stains my hair, and I carry it home to my family. It seeps into my pores, the stench of human death. I want this all to be over. Why can’t they just die quicker? Why can’t they just disappear so I can go home?


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Thus, the witch is just as trapped from the spells she seeks to trap others through.

The wizard is under a stronger hypnotism when hypnotizing others.

The one who places curses towards the other is double cursed by the same curse.


And the Nazis were spiritually dying, turning into the very monsters they had feared, with blood on their hands, betraying their own humanity by becoming dehumanized in order to dehumanize others.


Such is the nature of evil.


Evil exists to strip man from its meaning, of its emotions, of its significance by making all the props and its characters act out the absence of love, thereby causing the observer a feeling of emotional absence.

[aesop_chapter title=”Gaslit” bgtype=”img” full=”on” img=”http://www.mingjiezhai.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/IMG_5751.jpg” video_autoplay=”on” bgcolor=”#d6d6d6″ revealfx=”off” overlay_revealfx=”off”]

Shock, Apathy (the blunting effect), is the second stage of a prisoner at the camps:


“At such a moment it is not the physical pain which hurts the most (and this applies to adults as much as to punished children); it is the mental agony caused by the injustice, the unreasonableness of it all.


Evil judges and punishes through moral relativity.

This means punishing someone for being good and doing good.


Perhaps the punnery does not lose it’s impact.

The Nazis did not just gas the prisoners people but they also gaslit them. They told them if they work hard, then they can obtain that farm, that new haven, their own land and community. They fooled them, lied and manipulated them, all the way to when they were taking off their clothes before the poison seeped in.


Gaslighting is evil.

Because it makes the victim believe that their punishment is deserved when it is not. The truth is that the perpetrator’s own character defects and self-loathing gets projected in the punishment and “in the name of God” or “ in the name of ….some ideology” is the mask of virtue one wears to justify the punishment.


Evil is judgment without true knowledge or a thorough comprehension of the facts of a person’s life. It is a projection from a fractured ego and a shattered heart, dissociated. When a human is dissociated, they become easily manipulated by the lower energies–fear, ambition, and sex drivers–because a dissociated heart means their spiritual defenses are down and the daemons feed on human dissociations.


Evil exists to strip the human from experiencing love.


You read this from the Auschwitz camp: talking is silver and silence is golden.


Another cruel aspect of evil is to do something bad and call it good.

“Do not use God’s name in vain,” is this example. It is like burning people in the name of doing God’s work. No, God would never want that. That’s just doing more black magic. God’s true nature is love in 13 verses in 1 Corinthians 13.


This brings you to the nature of your own evil. For up to this point, you realize the solution to breaking the vicious cycle of projections is to just call out evil when you see it.


But it quickly occurs to you whilst there, as if the spirits there were whispering directly in your ear, the truth of the human and spiritual experiment, that the only way to call out the evil, is to call out your own evil, and serve as a mirror for others to see their own evil from your own testimony of facing evil, being manipulated by evil, and how you can be delivered from evil.


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Shock, Apathy (the blunting effect), is the second stage of a prisoner at the camps:

“At such a moment it is not the physical pain which hurts the most (and this applies to adults as much as to punished children); it is the mental agony caused by the injustice, the unreasonableness of it all.

Viktor p. 36

Evil judges and punishes through moral relativity.

This means punishing someone for being good and doing good.

Perhaps the punnery does not lose its impact.

The Nazis did not just gas the prisoners people but they also gaslit them. They told them if they work hard, then they can obtain that farm, that new haven, their own land and community. They fooled them, lied and manipulated them, all the way to when they were taking off their clothes before the poison seeped in.


Gaslighting is evil.

Because it makes the victim believe that their punishment is deserved when it is not. The truth is that the perpetrator’s own character defects and self-loathing gets projected in the punishment and “in the name of God” or “ in the name of ….some ideology” is the mask of virtue one wears to justify the punishment.


Evil is judgment without true knowledge or a thorough comprehension of the facts of a person’s life. It is a projection from a fractured ego and a shattered heart, dissociated. When a human is dissociated, they become easily manipulated by the lower energies–fear, ambition, and sex drivers–because a dissociated heart means their spiritual defenses are down and the daemons feed on human dissociations.


Evil exists to strip the human from experiencing love.


You read this from the Auschwitz camp: talking is silver and silence is golden.


Another cruel aspect of evil is to do something bad and call it good.

“Do not use God’s name in vain,” is this example. It is like burning people in the name of doing God’s work. No, God would never want that. That’s just doing more black magic. God’s true nature is love in 13 verses in 1 Corinthians 13.


This brings you to the nature of your own evil. For up to this point, you realize the solution to breaking the vicious cycle of projections is to just call out evil when you see it.


But it quickly occurs to you whilst there, as if the spirits there were whispering directly in your ear, the truth of the human and spiritual experiment, that the only way to call out the evil, is to call out your own evil, and serve as a mirror for others to see their own evil from your own testimony of facing evil, being manipulated by evil, and how you can be delivered from evil.


Evil’s Bait is Envy and its Hook Pride:


You witnessed a mixed family, a woman of Asian Descent and a man of European descent and their kids, a younger son and an older daughter and their children are beautiful. The dad bonds well with the son, but the wife and the husband seem to have some tension. But the family as a unit gave you a wince of pain–of something you had forgone once upon a time ago, a dream. And you felt a tinge of jealousy and you wonder if you were transported in time to those days and they happen to be Jewish and you happen to be German, would you be capable of playing SS and giving orders for your underlings to first split them apart, then take them to the gas chamber to be annihilated?


The simple answer is yes.

Very much so.

Your id is a sleeping dragon, a parasite, waiting for the right environment to come out.


If that were the case, you would have delighted in their annihilation for then, their presence would not have to remind you of the family you had forfeited.


We all have this id. It does not make you a monster. Rather, you have a monster to contend with, the way we all each have a monster to contend with. There are monsters in this realm that are felt but not seen, that harass us but can not be pinpointed, that try to destroy us but have us believe we are crazy for even suspecting that something wicked this way comes. We have all been infected by this reptilian id, and we, the ego, the heart center, must choose to feed it, fight it, or ask God for help in defending ourselves from it. So far, in your investigative work called living life, the conclusion you have made is the last option. You need supernatural aid. That is the right hand path. Left alone, the dragon is too powerful, too cunning, too baffling. We are easily hypnotized, we can easily deceive ourselves, and we don’t know when we are under the spell when we are under one.  


While most viewed Nazis as evil, what most don’t realize is that we as human beings all have an evil to contend with within ourselves, and so we are all capable of becoming Nazis. We would just call it by some other name.


When you were 13 you went back to your hometown where you learned about the horrors of what the Japanese did to the Chinese. You went through a historical wax museum that showed how the Japanese came to annihilate the Chinese with the same mentality as the Germans did to the Jews–to slaughter, torture, pillage, and kill in the name of a utopian ideology and in the name of kill or be killed. They did this in the name of good when really they were just projecting their inner inadequacies, character defects, and unresolved childhood traumas onto another group they deemed “lesser than,” when it is just pure projection.


Projection starts with envy.

The evil eye is the envious eye.

The Germans envied the Jews for their intellect, rich culture, wealth, and wisdom.

The Japanese envied the Chinese for their intellect, rich culture, wealth, and wisdom.


But if you had chosen to die with the mother and the daughter, you would have witnessed the miracle of God, and you would have realized, in that moment of death and resurrection, that not only would their family be reunited soon afterwards, on the other side called heaven, but also that you are actually part of the family, one family under heaven, indivisible, with liberty and love for all.

Birkenau, Poland

February 2019



[aesop_chapter title=”29 Roles, 1 SS, 2 Capos, 26 Prisoners , choose.” bgtype=”color” full=”off” img=”http://www.mingjiezhai.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/IMG_1424.jpg” video_autoplay=”on” bgcolor=”#424242″ revealfx=”off” overlay_revealfx=”off”]

Birkenau, Poland

February 2019

By the time you and your tour group arrived at Birkenau, you are energetically drained. The group is silent. The mood is somber. 1,000 people inside a ditch vs. a few dozen people with guns. That’s how it happened. Had the Nazis known that fifty years later, the world would come back to where they liquidated people in judgement, that they would be judged as evil, would they have acted out the life-lie that they were destroying evil?


At Birkenau, you did a thought experiment on yourself, tuning out the Tourguide’s detailed description of what happened here. There were 29 tourists in this group. If suddenly, your entire group was transported in a time capsule to this exact location and you were all given avatar suits to play out this scene and you all had to pull cards from a deck: 26 of the 29 were to play the prisoners and only three were the perpetrators, and you were given the luxury of first choice, what would you choose?


Your first instinct is the SS card, but it would take a heaven and hell internal struggle, for you to act on the second instinct, which is to do the right thing. The right thing is always simple, but the right thing is always hard.

Should you have taken the SS card, you would have been immediately under a spell. Evil is tricky. It is tricky by nature because when one is under a spell, one is not made aware that they are under one. When one casts a spell, one is not aware that the effects of the spell will come back to them later, with the effects seven folds, like interest in a credit card debt.

This is no different than what you are learning about recovery at the Drinker’s Den. This is also hinted at you when you imprinted at the AT&T center in San Francisco when you came upon DADA. DADA is Defense Against the Dark Arts in the world of Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts. This is what The Love Story project is about. Defense against this cunning, baffling, and powerful trick called evil whose mission is to strip the human soul from anything resembling love defined.


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You ask God. The God defined in 1 Corinthians 13. The God revealed in Jesus’ walk on earth when you study the fiction, based on a true love story of Jesus Christ. You reach out to a Loving God for divine intervention. That’s the first defense against a powerful spell. You ask in the name of Jesus to break it. You need supernatural aid.

[aesop_chapter title=”Women in Solidarity” bgtype=”img” full=”on” img=”http://www.mingjiezhai.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/pexels-photo-288621.jpeg” video_autoplay=”on” bgcolor=”#888888″ revealfx=”off” overlay_revealfx=”off”]

Birkenau, Poland

February, 1945


But now that you know what you know, you would choose to become the prisoner. You would regret it for the majority of the time you were a woman prisoner at Birkenau. You would be starving, delusional, cold, tortured, and you would have your thoughts filled with regrets for being the prisoner again, and you would want to wish for your misery to end sooner than later. And then, most likely, the end will start with someone shouting at you to get up, and you would walk barefoot, your ribs protruding, and you would somehow manage to hold your friend’s bony hand when it came time to cram together, 1,000 skinny girls, in a ditch, ready for the gas. You would make a joke to your friend that you’ve finally accomplished your dream of losing weight but this wasn’t what you had expected, and she would smile because laughing would take energy she did not have.


You walk into this stark, dank, room full of wooden planks, where the women were packed, like sardines, with no heating, no food, no working toiletry. People packed together, marked to die. You do not walk the full circle of this room. Halfway, you cut in the middle of the herd and walk out.


On the way out a strong thought moves you:

1,000 women in solidarity, fasting, like Jesus did in the wilderness, knowing they were going to be transported in a different dimension. Fear, anxiety, and hope. Terrifying curiosity. Those who gave up hope stood side by side with those who still clung onto it, in their final hour, during their last breath, were asked the same question by the devil during their 11th hour: God is love…true or false? Those who said True, came home, and those who said False came back home later.  You had chosen false in 2013, but Jesus intervened and now, six years later, you are investigating the truth of the same evil that tempted you to annihilate yourself.


We stayed here so you can tell our story. We know now that The answer is True. God is Love. But we stayed to practice the patience in love. The spirits tell you.

There were 1,000 winners that day, you determine.

For those who chose true and for those who chose false.

Jesus first came back 2019 years ago so we had the choice of saying true.

Jesus is coming back again so those who said false can retake the test again and again until we get it right.


You remember now, like quicksilver, like a lost dream retrieved. It was 1945 when the two of you held hands. Marsha became a skeleton, but her soul soared, because she chose True. You were more cynical. You bore hatred and resentment for what happened to you, your friends, and you hated the Nazis. Most of all, you hated God for allowing this to happen. You chose False, as in “God is Love” = False, and you stayed behind to witness again. You are here now, revisiting what happened to you, a reincarnated woman, 5’1, plumb with food, fat, and muscles. But when the two of you were being liquidated, your friend, Marsha, ascended to heaven and became part of the Holy Ghosts network, and she made a commitment to you that when you come back to visit what happened to you and her, she would guide you through this walk. She tells you that when she shed her flesh and became fully spirit, ascending from the Birkenau fields, she saw her body like one would see their clothes on the bathroom floor. She became naked, authentic, and free. All that weight–anxiety, fear, depression, worry, sadness…gone. Free to love and be in love. And as she was ascending, she also saw the demons possessing the men who had held the two of you captive. She tells you that the Nazis were the real prisoners, because the demons still rode their backs, like slave masters whipping their oxen.

She tells you that the pain will pass, just be patient. Wait. But you don’t hear her, because it took longer for you to let go. She held onto your hand, but you only felt her bones, and she hugged you though you were still struggling with this test of faith. It was the absence of faith that blocked you from hearing her counsel. She tells you to let go. She tells you that the pain will be short, like a prick, and describes the new breath of life that is flowing through her. She is in presence of pure love and she is pure love. She tries to coach you while you are still struggling with the test of faith, but you were looking away from her and from God. You had closed your eyes in shame, you closed your ears in blame, and you stayed away from the light. You did not trust it. You hated it. The angels came to comfort Marsha, who couldn’t get through to you. They touched her hand, which turned back into soft and smooth, the touch of youth, of joy, of love, renewed.

Birkenau, Poland

February, 2019

Then she saw you. She was next to the angel who you had negotiated with in 1945 when you had chosen false. This was the angel who told you that you could retake the test. This time, the angel tells you, you’ll do better, perhaps even pass the test, for you now have one more friend who is now helping you on the other side, who has your back. This friend will guide you through your second walk. You, who have chosen the left hand path. In this second walk, you will pass the test, because you can not only hear Marsha, but you begin to trust that voice and are practicing how to listen and follow directions. 

Then she saw you. She was next to the angel who you had negotiated with in 1945 when you had chosen false. This was the angel who told you that you could retake the test. This time, the angel tells you, you’ll do better, perhaps even pass the test, for you now have one more friend who is now helping you on the other side, who has your back. This friend will guide you through your second walk. You, who have chosen the left hand path. In this second walk, you will pass the test, because you can not only hear Marsha, but you begin to trust that voice and are practicing how to listen and follow directions.

She is delighted to greet you when you walk into Birkenau, this time as a tourist, and from heaven, she smiles, for she knew one day you would come back to investigate the truth of the true/false test.


She whispers to you as you head back to the tour bus. I’m proud of you. I knew you would try again. Marsha smiles at you but you don’t see it. Instead, you get a tingling sensation. Marsha is smiling, laughing in delight that this time, you have chosen to play the role of the serious journal-artist in disguise as an American tourist, with the hidden agenda of becoming a famous writer and an effective entrepreneur, but really in this moment, you are a broke girl with $200 left in her checking account, waiting for her next retirement payment to come so she can continue acting the part of “Journal-Artist and Entrepreneur” she had made up on her Facebook profile. Marsha is amused that you have quite the imagination, fast forward sixty years. You came as one of 29 tourists today, who chose to see it from the eyes of a perpetrator, yet would still choose to be a prisoner. The only difference this time, as Marsha shouts to the angels as a stand for your ascension, is that you will have chosen True. True for you, true for your family, true for everyone whose lives you have moved, touched, and inspired. True and reunite with her, with The Family. She says this proudly to the angels, and the angels who are looking after you nod in agreement. See you on the other side, Marsha whispers to you, an electric wave travels down your body. You’ve been touched and renewed. Let the Blondie read your entry, she says. You obey. You give the blondie your phone and ask her to read the words you’ve written down on your iNotes, from where it says, “You can’t pay evil for evil.”


Blondie reads it for a long time, then hands back the phone. “You wrote all that while we were walking?”


“It’s really good.” She smiles.

You feel relieved.

Something compels you to let her know that she is a writer as well. So you let her know.

It’s probably Marsha, or the Jiminy Cricket assigned to your shoulder to translate Holy Spirit’s directives. In this second walk, you will pass the test, because you are finally trusting, listening, and following through with Holy Spirits’ directions.



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You feel bad for the two tour guides. The man who did all the talking for three straight hours during the Auschwitz and Birkenau tours, and for the lady tour guide whose job was to sit next to the driver, and tell all the passengers on the bus all the rules of the camp. Her job is to tell you when your breaks are, short as they were, and what the rules are inside the camp. As a tourist, you are here today and gone tomorrow. But for the tour guides, they have to clock in and clock out, day in and day out, because this is their jobs.


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Mother Mary gave you the answer today—rather she gave you a reactivation from the esoteric knowledge you had picked up from Landmark Forum, the training camp that gave you 99.9% of the truth and left the .001% out the same way the Third Reich used the Book of Knowledge for its own will. You remember the activation on how to operate is to stand for the good in others. That part Landmark got correctly. So for example, if your friend got 8 out of 10 things done right and missed two, your role is to acknowledge the 8 and give grace to the 2.

This includes doing that for yourself, Mother Mary reminds you. You must treat yourself as someone who you are looking out for and responsible for caring about, responsible for standing for.


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You realize that the gifts are gifts from the Holy Spirit:

One means the gift of Apostleship

Two means the gift of Prophecy

Three means the gift of Teaching

Four means the gift of tongues, to be able to communication directly with the angels.

Five means intercessory prayers from the Holy Spirit.


The Love Story resonates on 1s and 3s.


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