“The marks humans leave are too often scars.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars
“The Pain of You“
Fiction. Based on True Life Events.
By Lost girl
This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.
Trigger Warning: our program often motivates people to discuss their trauma. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, please, take a step back to address emotional flashbacks and trauma before continuing to push yourself. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline at (1-800) 273-8255.
I look for you in others even though I am scared to find you. I hear your voice but yet I do not see you. You left me, ignored me, and then came back as if nothing ever happened. My mind worries about what I could have done differently, seeking answers on why you won’t return my call or answer my text. What did I do to deserve this? A husband who just runs when things get tough, leaving me to fend for myself, for our home and kids. How can I live knowing this isn’t something that just happened once but too many times to count. I cry myself to sleep laying next to our daughter. Our son hears me and wonders what he can do to help. I am not fine, I am broken. The pain of you has broken me, and I can’t breath any more. As I sit here trying to figure out what I can do to make you see that each time you leave, you take another piece of me. I am fighting for air. I beg you to stop, look at how broken I am, look at what this is doing to the woman you once knew. STOP! Please STOP! I am tired…. Because of the pain of you.