“Music kept me from jumping off the cliff.”

– Che Best

“The Music in My Bones”

Fiction. Based on a True Drive to Work.

by Lynn Duncan

This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.

Trigger Warning: our program often motivates people to discuss their trauma. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, please, take a step back to address emotional flashbacks and trauma before continuing to push yourself. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline at (1-800) 273-8255.

The annoying woman that drives too fast with her bass to loud too early in the morning is me. Whether it’s heavy metal spurring me on or the beats of rap or R&B. A driving bass or thumping 808. I lose myself in the music. I find myself there. I am myself speeding down a highway letting go of things that frustrate me. It has always been that way.

Since I was old enough to carry around a CD player I loved music and set my life up around the beats.

Swim practice I would sing to myself to keep me on time for the set. I would time my pulls and kicks to the music in my head and think of nothing else. Not the mountain of homework. Not the daunting college applications, or the fight I had with my sister.

During work. Trapped by my desk I lose myself to things more appropriate than Logic and Eminem. Tamer than Slipknot and Korn. Lofi Beats to chill/study to are more my speed when the office is open.

Because otherwise I would be unreachable. Lost to my own thoughts and finally calm. My mind is always on. Always working on more than one thing at a time. Unable to focus to save my life. The music provides focus. It reminds me of my purpose. Reminds me to breathe. Reminds me to let go. To relish a moment.

Even if that means I listen to the same six songs on repeat for hours and hours and hours.