“Self-Care?” Fiction. Based on a True Hard and Uncomfortable Part.

Image by Daria Shevtsova

“And I don’t want to let go of my youth. There is such a beauty to innocence that I didn’t realize I had much more of it,
and I can feel myself losing more and more,
and it is a part of life, I know, and I am still so young, I know…”

—Bry Leberthon


Fiction. Based on a True Hard and Uncomfortable Part.

By Viviany

This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.

Trigger Warning: our program often motivates people to discuss their trauma. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, please, take a step back to address emotional flashbacks and trauma before continuing to push yourself. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline at (1-800) 273-8255.

What is it?

Is it indulging in the pizza that you’ve been craving all week?
It can be.
But it’s also eating the salad and veggies that you don’t enjoy as much.

Is it spending a thousand dollars on clothes you don’t need?
It can be.
But it’s also saving those thousand dollars for the bills that are coming.

Is it putting on the outfit that highlights the right curves and makes you feel fierce?
It can be.
But it’s also about wearing the torn pajamas and appreciating the comfort. It’s about highlighting what your body is, what it has done, and what it still has left to give.

Is it getting your hair and nails done?
It can be.
But it’s also recognizing that those just add beauty, they’re not needed.

Is it spending the night watching Netflix with a face mask?
It can be.
But it’s also calling your loved ones and telling them you love them while you still can.

Is it staying in bed all day?
It can be.
But it’s also getting up, doing chores, going on a walk, and doing at least one thing that you’ve put off.

Is it going to the therapist’s office or having a good cry?
It can be.
But it’s setting up another appointment, it’s figuring out why you’re crying, what’s triggering it, and doing something about it.

Is it getting drunk and partying with your friends?
It can be.
But it’s also having those friends you can stay at home with and have a nice dinner.

Is it hooking up with the hottest guy you can find?
It can be.
But it’s also not letting a man dictate your worth.

Is it getting great photos for social media?
It can be.
But it’s also enjoying the moment without the need to broadcast it.

Is it writing a romance book and living in a fantasy?
It can be.
But it’s also about writing the dark, twisty stuff and letting the truth set you free.

Self-care is not about doing everything that feels good.
It’s doing everything that’s uncomfortable so you can improve.
It’s taking care of yourself, even in the worst, even when you don’t want to.

Self-care is having a balance between indulging and doing the hard work.
One day of pampering isn’t self-care.
Self-care is every day you keep yourself alive.
Every day you work for a better you.

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