Stone Mother is a rock formation in a sacred Paiute river. As the story goes, she had many children. Her first son liked to pick fights which angered Stone Mother’s husband. He eventually separated them only to return together when they passed. Stone Mother grieved so bitterly, her tears created “Pyramid Lake.”
– A paraphrasing
“Sarah Sunshine Manning”
Fiction. Based on a True Reading with a Shoshone-Paiute Author.
by Nikki Wicz
This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character, or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.
Trigger Warning: our program often motivates people to discuss their trauma. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, please, take a step back to address emotional flashbacks and trauma before continuing to push yourself. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline at (1-800) 273-8255.
She told us of stone mother,
Whose tears filled the river
That brought fish to the Paiute people.
“Grieving creates life,” she said.
All mine has done is leave mold
Where my floods have dried up.
We do not grieve here.
We are silent and alone, smiling
To our families and strangers
Who expect perfection as default.
I do not grieve, I wallow,
Memories dripping under my chin
Like the feeling of spiders burrowing into my throat
I let my tears spill down my cheeks
Hoping my lips will sprout into a smile
Instead, weeds feed off my skin.
We do not grieve here, we move on,
Because we are not weak
We are already made of stone,
heavy with mourning.