“Open” Fiction. Based on a True Look at Vulnerability

“Things that are beautiful versus things that are painful it doesn’t matter. We want to cling to them. We want to hold onto feelings. The best thing I’ve found is being able to find a way to check in and let go” –Elsa Kennedy


Fiction. Based on a True Look at Vulnerability

by K.E.A

This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.

Trigger Warning: our program often motivates people to discuss their trauma. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, please, take a step back to address emotional flashbacks and trauma before continuing to push yourself. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline at (1-800) 273-8255.

Being vulnerable is scary. Opening up the hidden parts of yourself to the world is terrifying. You don’t know if those parts that are sometimes undesirable, the messy and the broken, will be accepted. Rejection is the arrow that kills when it strikes those weak spots. That pain causes the walls to build back up, blocking off any cracks, any chance to be hurt again. Better to be protected than bear the pain of the soul.

But we still crave to find someone who will handle our vulnerability with tender hands, recognizing it for what it is: the thing inside every all of us that houses the softest parts. To be fully understood and accepted is ingrained in our blood, in every heartbeat. To find at least one person who moves through the spaces of our heart with care.

To be vulnerable takes bravery; it takes trust. It takes holding out what you want to hide despite the possible rejection.

Rejection is that looming presence that lurks behind everything we do. We are shaped by it more than we know. It can be a deadly thing that brings us to our knees when it strikes. It can choke us and leave us wounded for years. The thought of rejection often makes us close ourselves off because it’s not worth the risk. It’s an ongoing battle between the desire for acceptance and the fear of pain.

There is no recipe for being vulnerable and avoiding rejection. The best we get is experience, time, honesty, and perseverance. Each person finds how much of each thing they need over time, mixing and matching with each person they learn to trust until they find that comfortable place of sharing.

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