I just kicked out the third girl this week.
And they know what I’m calling for I’m not trying to cuddle.
When they get kicked out it isn’t that subtle.
I’m only 16 but I’m living life big.
Because girls know I don’t know what love is
And girls know exactly where my house is
Except there’s been that one girl that’s made me feel different
It seems like I had no time to react or shield myself it all happened in an instant
And every other girl since then has become even more distant
I feel I’ll never have her though so I keep sleeping around
And I feel she was meant for more and with me she was never bound
So I close my eyes and picture her and act like she’s around
And every day I wake up I hope it’s the day I can take her out
But that’s not really what she’s about
So I stay at home neutral, no expression at all
And kick myself for being so stupid as to fall
So I call over a girl and tell myself I’m over it
But everytime I’m in I’m just not feeling it
So I kick out the disposable as quick as I can
And lay on my bed and say live life without the “one” I can
But I’m lying to myself because I lay on my side and look at my phone
Hoping she’ll call at any minute because she had a bad dream and she’s feeling alone
Then i get impatient and call on my own.
But quickly hang up like a stalker I know
And then next day she’ll text me and it’ll give me a smile
And then I’ll ask if I can go see her because it’s been a while
Most likely it’s no and rarely it’s yes
And I stop asking for a while or start asking less
But I know she has me and I think I have her too
I am aware but she doesn’t have a clue
Starting now I will escape the hands of love
I will break free and not let it hold me
I will run from all intentions
And make myself forget what I’m feeling
I will close myself off and hide
Never tell her what I had felt again
I will treat her like a nobody
Because I could never be just her friend.
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