Never Be Just Her Friend

I just kicked out the third girl this week.

And they know what I’m calling for I’m not trying to cuddle.

When they get kicked out it isn’t that subtle.

I’m only 16 but I’m living life big.

Because girls know I don’t know what love is

And girls know exactly where my house is

Except there’s been that one girl that’s made me feel different

It seems like I had no time to react or shield myself it all happened in an instant

And every other girl since then has become even more distant

I feel I’ll never have her though so I keep sleeping around

And I feel she was meant for more and with me she was never bound

So I close my eyes and picture her and act like she’s around

And every day I wake up I hope it’s the day I can take her out

But that’s not really what she’s about

So I stay at home neutral, no expression at all

And kick myself for being so stupid as to fall

So I call over a girl and tell myself I’m over it

But everytime I’m in I’m just not feeling it

So I kick out the disposable as quick as I can

And lay on my bed and say live life without the “one” I can

But I’m lying to myself because I lay on my side and look at my phone

Hoping she’ll call at any minute because she had a bad dream and she’s feeling alone

Then i get impatient and call on my own.

But quickly hang up like a stalker I know

And then next day she’ll text me and it’ll give me a smile

And then I’ll ask if I can go see her because it’s been a while

Most likely it’s no and rarely it’s yes

And I stop asking for a while or start asking less

But I know she has me and I think I have her too

I am aware but she doesn’t have a clue

Starting now I will escape the hands of love

I will break free and not let it hold me

I will run from all intentions

And make myself forget what I’m feeling

I will close myself off and hide

Never tell her what I had felt again

I will treat her like a nobody

Because I could never be just her friend.

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