“Love is Hard to Express” Fiction. Based on a True Heartfelt Letter Unspoken, Unwritten, and Unsent.

“Love is hard to express. It is just something you feel in your heart, in your inside that makes you be with someone, do something, create something, write something, paint something…when you give your all to something.”

“The Butterflies are free. They are delicate…”

-Marisabel Bazan

 

“Love is Hard to Express”

Fiction. Based on a True Heartfelt Letter Unspoken, Unwritten, and Unsent.

by Mingjie Zhai

This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.

 

“Love is hard to express. It is just something you feel in your heart, in your inside that makes you be with someone, do something, create something, write something, paint something…when you give your all to something.”

Dear Angelie,

I know I don’t say much but in my heart I know you mean well with all the letters, books and long texts you send me, yet, in the end, you still push me away with all that. It’s all too much and too overwhelming.

I also know that you act crazy as a way to avoid loving me, even when you profess that you do and even when you have founded a project based on love. The way you show up is manic, impatient, and I constantly remind you to chill, relax, and take it easy. I know exactly what you’re missing–patience and faith.

Let me lead you as a Christian man.

You have to first trust me.

I know that takes a lot, especially what you have gone through, but I know that it’s easier said than done, but still I know you can do it.

Despite the push and pull, I know most of what took place between us did both of us more good than bad in the few months we’ve gotten to know each other. I said from the beginning that we could learn a lot from each other and I believe this is true, even though, the last time we had communicated, I had requested no contact. I even tried taking your advice to try and work things out between me and my ex, but it only makes me more resentful of you when I’m with her.

I don’t understand why I’m so attracted to you. But I know better than to give all of myself to you when you’re not ready to receive me. Right now, things are too crazy. In the end, there is only one type of crazy: The man-eating self-destructive kind. I know that you’re aware of it and you’re in the process of getting your monster under control. If I could express what’s truly in my heart, I would tell you that I’m proud of you for doing something about it, even if it means traveling halfway across the world to do it. I want to say that I respect and admire you for doing the inner work, for pursuing the better version of what you could, should and will be. Not many girls are self-aware of their problems and not many girls want to seek help to change for the better. But in you, I see a caterpillar at the tail end of the metamorphosis, almost breaking out of her cocoon, and I wanted to stay long enough to catch you in full bloom. I want to be the man you’ve always wanted and witness you while you’re a butterfly.

I see in you a woman beginning to take more responsibility of her life, a woman becoming more independent, so sure of herself, a think-outside-the-box type of woman, with both a boldness to life and a softness to love, a courage to pursue her dreams, a woman who knows what she wants and is not afraid to declare it, a woman who sets the standards, with an aim so precise, it intimidates most men. But it does not intimidate me, well…sometimes it does, but it didn’t stop me from pursuing you. It only arouses me and causes unspeakable anguish knowing that you were almost mine, yet you insisted to a point of sabotaging what possibilities we both could have had so that you could avoid this so-called karma. Did you consider me and my will while you are declaring your love to me and insisting that I work it out with my ex?  You’re an exotic tease. It’s beyond blue balls, really. It’s just…cruel.

I can’t stand to see your instagram. I don’t want to know what adventures you are pursuing, what you’re up to, where you’re at, because I would start wondering and regretting something I don’t have with you. The pain will rush in and I’ll get my anxiety attacks when I think about what we could have been together. You know that I’m not ready to just leave everything I’ve worked hard for to go traveling all over Europe with you and make babies. That’s crazy talk. It’s fairy tale fantasy la la land, grounded on fairy dust. I’ve seen the way my cousin wrecked her life listening to a crazy man who calls himself an artist and seduced her into having a family with him only to become another burden for her. He’s a deadbeat artist, who puts his art before his family, who can’t even provide for his daughter so I have to step in. And I have to step into the responsibility of being that provider for her. It’s a burden that I must bear because the real world is founded upon hard work, hustle, and planning that starving artist like you will one day have to face.

Yet you’re doing it and you’ve gifted me a book that shows me how I can do it too while gifting me a book of your dreams made real. It’s inspiring that you are pursuing what you love doing. I would be lying if I said that I was not tempted by the idea of leaving everything behind to explore the world with you. You have shaken my aim. Before I met you, I was aiming for money and wealth, but now I also acknowledge that wealth means time, diversity of experiences and cultivating what we love to do and doing it with people we love. I remember the first time we sat next to each other at church. I thought, who is this strange attractive girl flying off to Europe? You were so timid, so reserved, but I knew from the first time I saw you that you had this inner crazy that would drive a man like me crazy. I could smell it on you. I wanted to hunt you, eat you alive, and tear you apart.

From the beginning all I wanted to do is to help you, serve you, and even take care of you if it got to that point…I was hoping that it would. I wanted to lead you as a Christian man. I knew exactly what you were missing in life–protection, provision, and love and I was willing to give you all that, had you just accepted me for who I am and my process growing as a man, and had you just been more patient with my process, growing into the big shoes that is my destiny to grow into, but you did not.

I see a woman so afraid to love yet yearns for it the most. I see a woman with so much talent, beauty, and glow, that all I wanted to do was to put you in a position where you can fulfill that and that would also fulfill my purpose as a man to serve you in the best capacity I knew how–to grow your money, to advise you on your finances, and to make sure that you are taken care of materially so you can continue pursuing your dreams.

All I wanted from you was your recognition of the good in me to do that for you. Instead, you made me out to look like some scammer trying to charm an older lady out of her money. You know this is not true. You know that since the first time I laid my eyes upon you, I just wanted to show up as a lover, a friend, an equal with you. I wanted you to see the prince rather than the frog in me. You talk about sobriety and recovery. You talk about having more faith than fear, yet it was you who could not take the actions of love and faith towards our friendship that was just beginning to grow. I asked you to trust me yet you could not. You rejected me three times. I had enough…It hurts too much to be with you…I feel like I’m walking on eggshells when I want to be with you. One minute you love me, next minute you reject me. I knew you were going to leave for Europe, but I wanted every possible moment with you while you were still here.

Perhaps, It is easier to just dismiss you as a crazy girl so I can forget how beautiful, deep, and wise you truly are.

In the four page letter you wrote to me, you had called me a “frog-prince.” I am a work in progress. I know what I need to work on. I am painfully aware of it. I don’t need a second mom to remind me of what I need to do to be worthy of such attention and validation. I just wanted a partner in you, a friend, an ear to listen to my deepest secrets, a body where I can sink my battered and broken body into, a woman I could show off to my friends, my family, my colleagues–a beautiful, ambitious, exotic, and smart woman like you.

The time we had together, though brief, is a time I don’t think I will forget–The way we connected felt so at home. You fit right into my body when you hug me. I miss how soft your body is when you snuggle up next to me, the scent of your hair, the thick lips when you kiss me, the way your bright eyes light up under the candlelight of my bedroom. You are beautiful. You truly are.

I know that your past haunts you. I know it hurts. And I know that I have hurt you. I am truly sorry, even though I don’t know how to show it or say it. I can only sing it.  I was taught to get over these wounds because that’s the only way you can be stronger. That’s what a man does. That’s the way I was raised. To toughen up, to strengthen my character through adversity. I know that what I’m missing is compassion. Most of the time, I am numb. I wear a mask and I play a character, and I’m good at playing this character. In another lifetime, I would have been an actor. I’m constantly alone. I feel this emptiness most of the time –like something unfulfilled, some version of me I’m forgoing, and the thought of it haunts me so I am tempted to numb it or chase it with mind altering substances.

The few times I’ve felt alive was when I’m in the zone with God, when I’m singing and riffing on my guitar, and when I’m inside you. In those moments I am naked, vulnerable, and I am safe inside of it all.

I started off as a hero and wound up being a zero in your eyes. I’m sorry my ex contacted you and called you these names–the very names you told me you don’t want to become. I put you in this position. I’m sorry but not sorry. I truly wanted to move forward with you, but you would not allow it. Now, I’m dealing with an ex that reminds me of how I’m not good enough, how nobody else but her would want someone like me, and she reminds me of how much she’s been there for me, but something is off between us. She treats me more like a pet than a partner–a pet project perhaps. You don’t know the times I’ve felt so manipulated by her and I had just tolerated it or turned a willful blind eye to it because that was what was familiar and comfortable. She is eating away at my soul and I feel as if you know all that and still refuse to save me from this insidious slow and painful spiritual death. I feel abandoned by you. You don’t know how much you’ve hurt me when you made that comment that I had somehow abandoned a woman who was there for me during a time when I had nothing. I told you I had given her enough of me…any more and I would have lost my soul and my life.

You’ve shown me another way to live and be with a new kind of person. I’ve outgrown her and I want to learn from you. You’ve given me a glimpse of what life could be like to be with a woman who is not overly concerned with looking good and who could care less about material wealth, a woman who doesn’t pressure me to make money first, but instead, asks me to put God first, and my sobriety first, and is happy when she hears that I am helping others.

Do you know how inspiring that is to me?

Now, I’m dealing with a past that reminds me of how I’m no good. She tells me I’m a liar, a cheater, a no good trifling man. She reminds me that I’m useless and you seem to agree with her. You’ve hurt my heart so many times in the brief months I’ve met you. I’m more terrified of you than of any girl I’ve ever been with. I don’t believe you when you say you love me, because if you did, you would have stayed. Granted that when we first met, you had already told me that you’re moving to Europe for the year. Then, you offer me this crazy idea of giving up everything I worked so hard for here to follow you into the unknown.

We started so perfect. We met at the most holiest of places. I just wish that you would offer me more patience and time to change, to mature, to build and meet your dreams at a point where I can also meet mine. It’s called a compromise. I know I can change, but I can’t change overnight and it seems with you that it had to be now or never. You had to have it your way just like the way you needed to boil your water for tea instead of microwaving it.

The truth is, I don’t think I’m good enough for you. I don’t feel ready. I still have so much to prove to become the man that could meet the kind of needs that a woman like you needs. I’m painfully aware that as I am right now, I’m not good enough for you.

Most of the time, I think you’re just toying with me, but then, there are these emails and letters that I get from you that has me thinking from a heart center: What if she does mean what she says? What if you are helping me refocus my life on the missing pieces–the areas in my life that I know I have to deal with on my own? I know you told me time and again that I can’t save you. But I can help you. I can illustrate the parts of you that I know you could work on. Yes, it sounds harsh, but it’s what you need to hear. That’s what you told me before remember? You had once told me that there are two types of people: Those who tell what people what they want to hear and those who tell people what they need to hear.

I’ve told you the parts of yourself that you needed to hear. You are a line-stepper. You have a tough time respecting other’s boundaries and it reflects on how you cross your own boundaries. You need to take better care of yourself and start focusing on the longview. It’s good to dream, but you need a plan, a financial plan to start. You can get a real job while working on your startup so you can stop pretending that you’re some kind of handicapped, helpless girl, and elevate yourself to the status of a true entrepreneur. You need to take off your crutches. You lack hustle, discipline, and structure. And yet, that is exactly what I can provide for you…or at least inspire you to be that through my example.

And in return, I need a girl like you to inspire me to dream again. I need a Christ-centered girl who would soften my back muscles, my heart, and appreciate my worth. I need a woman who could be responsible for our children, a woman who can show unconditional love to me and our children. A teacher, a nurturer, and woman who can smile for the family and laugh, sing songs with me, and dance with me. I’m a simple man. If I can make her happy, then I’m happy. I’m highly sensitive to her disposition, so when she is in turmoil so am I, and when she is happy, so am I.

You made me out to be this manipulative scammer out to get you, or that I’m somehow treating you as a mistress, a woman that I’m just toying with. It’s not true, yet you made it seem as if I was cheating on you. That’s not fair. You’re not playing a fair game. You tell me you love me yet somehow I feel as if you are just saying that as a way to control me, to do what you want me to do rather than listen, follow, and learn and let me lead us. We could at least discuss what we both want to do–a compromise, a conversation, a commitment. You need a Christian man who can lead you yet you are stubborn and entitled. It’s frustrating to try and tame you and I know I can’t change you unless you’re willing. I’ve tried with so many crazy girls like you, and it never works. I know that the best thing to do is to leave it to God and let go.

I know that what you need now is time alone to recover. You have made that request a few times while we were dating. I think the best thing I can do for you as a man is to let you go so you can fulfill that. I think the only thing I can give to you is to take your advice. I will try and work things out with my ex. I will give it my best shot. And if ever we come around together again, you’ll know that I did give it my best shot with her, so if I say I choose you, then I choose you and only you. I hope one day you can actually believe that. Perhaps, by that time, you’ll believe me when I say, “We’re not working things out anymore.”

You are not just some “other woman” or mistress that you kept thinking I was placing you in. I had never put you in that position. I told you multiple times that I was taking you seriously. I told you that I respected you…My only request with you was that you would respect me in return. I told you that it was just the two of us dating but you did not believe me. You lashed out at me, you rejected me, as if still wounded from your past. I can’t do anything about this. You must deal with your past. So I’m letting you go. I’m requesting no contact.

I just wish that you would have given me more time, more patience and faith for us to build together and meet each other’s expectations. I know I can change but I can’t change overnight and it seemed as if it had to be now or never. So now I pretend as if you were just some crazy, disabled girl that needed my help for her non profit project so I don’t have to deal with the reality that you were everything I’ve been praying for.

The reality is that I wanted you at a time when you were pushing me away–you would not allow me to show up for you and help you. It hurts beyond words. The wounds you’ve inflicted upon me. I hate you for hurting me so, but I also understand why you hurt me.

Hurt people hurt people.

You said it best. At least you’re aware of it. I really pray that you do recover so I can see the real you. I respect your choice to recover while I do my best to pick up the pieces again–business as usual: Hustle. Make money. Lead a team.

The one thing I know I’m good at doing–working and making money.

All this other love stuff is too complicated and too overwhelming for me.

So in the meantime, I’ll just pretend as if you were just a fling. I’ll downplay it as if it wasn’t anything.

It’s the only way I can get over you.

I love you too.

Aaron

 

 

Leave a Reply

Write a comment

Privacy Preference Center

Necessary

2. How We Use Your Data
2. 1 In this Section 2 we have set out:
the general categories of personal data that we may process;
in the case of personal data that we did not obtain directly from you, the source and specific categories of that data;
the purposes for which we may process personal data; and
the legal bases of the processing.
2.2 We may process data about your use of our websites and services (“usage data”). The usage data may include your IP address, geographical location, browser type and version, operating system, referral source, length of visit, page views and website navigation paths, as well as information about the timing, frequency and pattern of your service use. The source of the usage data is our analytics tracking system. This usage data may be processed for the purposes of analysing the use of the websites and services. The legal basis for this processing is our legitimate interests, namely monitoring and improving our websites and services.
2.3 We may process your website account data (“account data”). The account data may be processed for the purposes of operating our websites, providing our services, ensuring the security of our websites and services, maintaining back-ups of our databases and communicating with you (including requesting feedback regarding our services). The legal basis for this processing is our legitimate interests, namely the proper administration of our websites and business.
2.4 We may process your personal data incorporated into Google Analytics or that you provide to us in the course of the use of our services (“service data”). The service data may be processed for the purposes of providing our services, ensuring the security of our websites and services, maintaining back-ups of our databases and communicating with you. The legal basis for this processing is our legitimate interests, namely the proper administration of our websites and business.
2.5 We may process information that you post for publication on our websites or through our services (“publication data”). The publication data may be processed for the purposes of enabling such publication and administering our websites and services. The legal basis for this processing is our legitimate interests, namely the proper administration of our websites and business.
2.6 We may process information relating to transactions, including purchases of services, that you enter into with us and/or through our websites (“transaction data”). The transaction data may be processed for the purpose of supplying the purchased services and keeping proper records of those transactions. The legal basis for this processing is the performance of a contract between you and us and/or taking steps, at your request, to enter into such a contract and our legitimate interests, namely our interest in the proper administration of our websites and business.
2.7 We may process information that you provide to us for the purpose of subscribing to our newsletters and other notifications (“newsletter data”). The newsletter data may be processed for the purposes of sending you the newsletters and other notifications, and analysing their use. The legal basis for this processing is consent.
2.8 We may process information contained in or relating to any communication that you send to us by email or any similar communications system (“message data”). The message data may include the communication content and metadata associated with the communication. Our website will generate the metadata associated with communications made using the website contact forms. The message data may be processed for the purposes of communicating with you (including where appropriate sending you sales or marketing materials) and record-keeping. The legal basis for this processing is our legitimate interests, namely the proper administration of our websites and business and communications with users, prospective customers and customers.
2.9 We may process any of your personal data identified in the other provisions of this policy where necessary for the establishment, exercise or defense of legal claims, whether in court proceedings or in an administrative or out-of-court procedure. The legal basis for this processing is our legitimate interests, namely the protection and assertion of our legal rights, your legal rights and the legal rights of others.
2.10 In addition to the specific purposes for which we may process your personal data set out in this Section 2, we may also process any of your personal data where such processing is necessary for compliance with a legal obligation to which we are subject, or in order to protect your vital interests or the vital interests of another natural person.
3. Providing Your Personal Data to Others
3.1 Providing your personal data to others
3.2 If you make an enquiry seeking a quotation for or information about affiliate services, we may disclose your enquiry data to one or more affiliate partners for the purpose of enabling them to contact you so that they can provide the quotation or information, or otherwise offer, market and/or sell to you relevant professional services.
3.3 We may disclose your personal data to our insurers and/or professional advisers insofar as reasonably necessary for the purposes of obtaining and maintaining insurance coverage, managing risks, obtaining professional advice and managing legal disputes.
3.4 Financial transactions relating to our websites and services are handled by our payment services providers, PayPal, Square, Braintree and Paytm. We will share transaction data with our payment services providers only to the extent necessary for the purposes of processing your payments, refunding such payments and dealing with complaints and queries relating to such payments and refunds. You can find information about the payment services providers’ privacy policies and practices at https://www.paypal.com/en/webapps/mpp/ua/privacy-full.
3.5 In addition to the specific disclosures of personal data set out in this Section 3, we may also disclose your personal data where such disclosure is necessary for compliance with a legal obligation to which we are subject, or in order to protect your vital interests or the vital interests of another natural person.
4. International transfers of your personal data
4.1 In this Section 4, we provide information about the circumstances in which your personal data may be transferred to countries outside the European Economic Area (EEA).

4.2 The servers of some of our cloud services providers are situated in in the USA. The cloud services providers in question include Site Ground (hosted service desk), the Mailchimp (mail services) and Slack Technologies, Inc (team communications). Transfers to the USA will be protected by appropriate safeguards, namely the use of standard data protection clauses adopted or approved by the European Commission.

You acknowledge that personal data that you submit for publication through our websites or services may be available, via the internet, around the world. We cannot prevent the use (or misuse) of such personal data by others.

5. Retaining and deleting personal data
5.1 This Section 5 sets out our data retention policies and procedures, which are designed to help ensure that we comply with our legal obligations in relation to the retention and deletion of personal data.

5.2 Personal data that we process for any purpose or purposes shall not be kept for longer than is necessary for that purpose or those purposes.

5.3 We will retain your personal data for the following periods, at the end of which periods it will be deleted or anonymized:

(a) usage data will be retained for a period of 30 months following the date of collection;

(b) account data and service data will be retained for so long as the associated account remains open and for a period of up to 7 years following the end of the year during which the corresponding account was closed;

(c) publication data will be retained for the period of publication and for a period of up to following 12 months following the date it ceases to be published;

(d) transaction data will be retained for a period of up to 7 years following the end of the year during which the relevant transaction occurred;

(e) newsletter data will be retained for for so long as the relevant person remains opted-in to notifications; and

(f) message data will be retained for a period of up to 7 years following the end of the year during which the relevant communication was sent.

5.4 Notwithstanding the other provisions of this Section 5, we may retain your personal data where such retention is necessary for compliance with a legal obligation to which we are subject, or in order to protect your vital interests or the vital interests of another natural person.

6. Amendments
6.1 We may update this policy from time to time by publishing a new version on our website.

6.2 We may notify you of significant changes to this policy by email.

7. Your rights
7.1 In this Section 7, we have summarised the rights that you have under data protection law. Some of the rights are complex, and not all of the details have been included in our summaries. Accordingly, you should read the relevant laws and guidance from the regulatory authorities for a full explanation of these rights.

7.2 Your principal rights under data protection law are:

(a) the right to access;

(b) the right to rectification;

(c) the right to erasure;

(d) the right to restrict processing;

(e) the right to object to processing;

(f) the right to data portability;

(g) the right to complain to a supervisory authority; and

(h) the right to withdraw consent.

7.3 You have the right to confirmation as to whether or not we process your personal data and, where we do, access to the personal data, together with certain additional information. That additional information includes details of the purposes of the processing, the categories of personal data concerned and the recipients of the personal data. Providing the rights and freedoms of others are not affected, we will supply to you a copy of your personal data. The first copy will be provided free of charge, but additional copies may be subject to a reasonable fee.

7.4 You have the right to have any inaccurate personal data about you rectified and, taking into account the purposes of the processing, to have any incomplete personal data about you completed.

7.5 In some circumstances you have the right to the erasure of your personal data without undue delay. Those circumstances include: the personal data are no longer necessary in relation to the purposes for which they were collected or otherwise processed; you withdraw consent to consent-based processing; the processing is for direct marketing purposes; and the personal data have been unlawfully processed. However, there are certain general exclusions of the right to erasure. Those general exclusions include where processing is necessary: for exercising the right of freedom of expression and information; for compliance with a legal obligation; or for the establishment, exercise or defence of legal claims.

7.6 In some circumstances you have the right to restrict the processing of your personal data. Those circumstances are: you contest the accuracy of the personal data; processing is unlawful but you oppose erasure; we no longer need the personal data for the purposes of our processing, but you require personal data for the establishment, exercise or defence of legal claims; and you have objected to processing, pending the verification of that objection. Where processing has been restricted on this basis, we may continue to store your personal data. However, we will only otherwise process it: with your consent; for the establishment, exercise or defence of legal claims; for the protection of the rights of another natural or legal person; or for reasons of important public interest.

7.7 You have the right to object to our processing of your personal data on grounds relating to your particular situation, but only to the extent that the legal basis for the processing is that the processing is necessary for: the performance of a task carried out in the public interest or in the exercise of any official authority vested in us; or the purposes of the legitimate interests pursued by us or by a third party. If you make such an objection, we will cease to process the personal information unless we can demonstrate compelling legitimate grounds for the processing which override your interests, rights and freedoms, or the processing is for the establishment, exercise or defence of legal claims.

7.8 You have the right to object to our processing of your personal data for direct marketing purposes (including profiling for direct marketing purposes). If you make such an objection, we will cease to process your personal data for this purpose.

7.9 You have the right to object to our processing of your personal data for scientific or historical research purposes or statistical purposes on grounds relating to your particular situation, unless the processing is necessary for the performance of a task carried out for reasons of public interest.

7.10 To the extent that the legal basis for our processing of your personal data is consent, and such processing is carried out by automated means, you have the right to receive your personal data from us in a structured, commonly used and machine-readable format. However, this right does not apply where it would adversely affect the rights and freedoms of others.

7.11 If you consider that our processing of your personal information infringes data protection laws, you have a legal right to lodge a complaint with a supervisory authority responsible for data protection. You may do so in the EU member state of your habitual residence, your place of work or the place of the alleged infringement.

7.12 To the extent that the legal basis for our processing of your personal information is consent, you have the right to withdraw that consent at any time. Withdrawal will not affect the lawfulness of processing before the withdrawal.

7.13 You may exercise any of your rights in relation to your personal data by written notice to us.

(a) https://support.google.com/chrome/answer/95647?hl=en (Chrome), (b) https://support.mozilla.org/en-US/kb/enable-and-disable-cookies-website-preferences (Firefox), (c)http://www.opera.com/help/tutorials/security/cookies/ (Opera), (d) https://support.microsoft.com/en-gb/help/17442/windows-internet-explorer-delete-manage-cookies (Internet Explorer), (e) https://support.apple.com/kb/PH21411 (Safari); and (f) https://privacy.microsoft.com/en-us/windows-10-microsoft-edge-and-privacy (Edge)
(a) https://support.google.com/chrome/answer/95647?hl=en (Chrome), (b) https://support.mozilla.org/en-US/kb/enable-and-disable-cookies-website-preferences (Firefox), (c)http://www.opera.com/help/tutorials/security/cookies/ (Opera), (d) https://support.microsoft.com/en-gb/help/17442/windows-internet-explorer-delete-manage-cookies (Internet Explorer), (e) https://support.apple.com/kb/PH21411 (Safari); and (f) https://privacy.microsoft.com/en-us/windows-10-microsoft-edge-and-privacy (Edge)

Advertising

8. Third party websites
8.1 Our websites includes hyperlinks to, and details of, third party websites.

8.2 We have no control over, and are not responsible for, the privacy policies and practices of third parties.

9. Updating information
9.1 Please let us know if the personal information that we hold about you needs to be corrected or updated.

10. Acting as a data processor
10.1 In respect of personal data which falls within the scope of any data processing contract that we have entered into, we do not act as a controller of that personal data; instead, we act as a processor of that personal data.

10.2 Insofar as we act as a processor rather than a controller, this policy shall not apply. Our legal obligations as a processor are instead set out in the contract between us and the relevant controller.

(a) https://support.google.com/chrome/answer/95647?hl=en (Chrome); (b) https://support.mozilla.org/en-US/kb/enable-and-disable-cookies-website-preferences (Firefox); (c)http://www.opera.com/help/tutorials/security/cookies/ (Opera); (d) https://support.microsoft.com/en-gb/help/17442/windows-internet-explorer-delete-manage-cookies (Internet Explorer); (e) https://support.apple.com/kb/PH21411 (Safari); and (f) https://privacy.microsoft.com/en-us/windows-10-microsoft-edge-and-privacy (Edge).

Analytics

Purposes for Processing of Personal Data

TLS processes your data in order to:

Manage, administer, promote, analyze and improve the Services and our communications, including measuring and analyzing user traffic and usage patterns.
Respond to your questions or messages and fulfill your requests for services.
Customize the content you see and hear on our Services, including offering content from NPR Member stations associated with your account or located near you and offering other content that may be of interest to you.
Customize the sponsorship messages you see and hear on our Services and on third-party services you may use or visit.
Publish, broadcast or otherwise use User Materials.
Offer you access to TLS tours and events.
Process applications for jobs, internships, fellowships and other positions at TLS.
Manage contests, contact you for an online survey, or for editorial purposes.
Recognize you as a returning user as you access our Services using different computers, devices and browsers and to save and "remember" your registration information, settings and preferences for later visits.
Send you email newsletters and marketing, fundraising, membership and other communications from NPR and our Member stations.
To understand whether and when you read our email messages and click on links in those messages.
Analyze personal preferences or interests to provide personalized content and messages from NPR and NPR sponsors and to control the sequence and frequency of those messages.
Generate aggregate or other information that does not directly identify you as an individual or the devices you use to access our Services, and use and share that information for TLS's purposes.
To prevent potentially prohibited or illegal activities, comply with applicable laws, and enforce our Terms of Use and other legal rights.
We also may use the information collected from you in other ways, and for other purposes, that are described to you at the point of collection or for which we otherwise have obtained your consent.

13.1 We use Google Analytics to analyse the use of our website. Google Analytics gathers information about website use by means of cookies. The information gathered relating to our websites is used to create reports about the use of our website. Google’s privacy policy is available at: https://www.google.com/policies/privacy/.

Cookies

11. About cookies
11.1 A cookie is a file containing an identifier (a string of letters and numbers) that is sent by a web server to a web browser and is stored by the browser. The identifier is then sent back to the server each time the browser requests a page from the server.

11.2 Cookies may be either “persistent” cookies or “session” cookies: a persistent cookie will be stored by a web browser and will remain valid until its set expiry date, unless deleted by the user before the expiry date; a session cookie, on the other hand, will expire at the end of the user session, when the web browser is closed.

11.3 Cookies do not typically contain any information that personally identifies a user, but personal information that we store about you may be linked to the information stored in and obtained from cookies.

12. Cookies that we use
12. 1 We use cookies for the following purposes:

(a) authentication and navigation – we use cookies to identify you when you visit our websites and as you navigate our websites;

(b) shopping cart – we use cookies to maintain the state of shopping carts as you navigate our websites;

(c) personalization – we use cookies to store information about your preferences and to personalize our websites for you;

(d) security – we use cookies as an element of the security measures used to protect user accounts, including preventing fraudulent use of login credentials, and to protect our websites and services generally; and

(e) analysis – we use cookies to help us to analyze the use and performance of our websites and services.

13. Cookies used by our service providers
13.1 We use Google Analytics to analyse the use of our website. Google Analytics gathers information about website use by means of cookies. The information gathered relating to our websites is used to create reports about the use of our website. Google’s privacy policy is available at: https://www.google.com/policies/privacy/.
Managing cookies
14.1 Most browsers allow you to refuse to accept cookies and to delete cookies. The methods for doing so vary from browser to browser, and from version to version. You can however obtain up-to-date information about blocking and deleting cookies via these links:
(a) https://support.google.com/chrome/answer/95647?hl=en (Chrome);
(b) https://support.mozilla.org/en-US/kb/enable-and-disable-cookies-website-preferences (Firefox);
(c)http://www.opera.com/help/tutorials/security/cookies/ (Opera);
(d) https://support.microsoft.com/en-gb/help/17442/windows-internet-explorer-delete-manage-cookies (Internet Explorer);
(e) https://support.apple.com/kb/PH21411 (Safari); and
(f) https://privacy.microsoft.com/en-us/windows-10-microsoft-edge-and-privacy (Edge).
14.2 Blocking all cookies will have a negative impact upon the usability of many websites.
14.3 If you block cookies, you will not be able to use all the features on our websites.
Our details
Our legal name is The Love Story Media, Inc.
We are registered in Santa Monica, California and our principal office is at 3435 Ocean Park Blvd. #107, Santa Monica, CA 90405
You can contact us:
by post, using the address given above;
using our website contact forms;
by email, using any email address published on our websites from time to time.

14.1 Most browsers allow you to refuse to accept cookies and to delete cookies. The methods for doing so vary from browser to browser, and from version to version. You can however obtain up-to-date information about blocking and deleting cookies via these links: (a) https://support.google.com/chrome/answer/95647?hl=en (Chrome); (b) https://support.mozilla.org/en-US/kb/enable-and-disable-cookies-website-preferences (Firefox); (c)http://www.opera.com/help/tutorials/security/cookies/ (Opera); (d) https://support.microsoft.com/en-gb/help/17442/windows-internet-explorer-delete-manage-cookies (Internet Explorer); (e) https://support.apple.com/kb/PH21411 (Safari); and (f) https://privacy.microsoft.com/en-us/windows-10-microsoft-edge-and-privacy (Edge).

Want to Journal with Us?

Explore >>Here<<