“Loneliness.” Fiction. Based on a True Isolation.

Image by Paula Schmidt

“Why are you so bored? And it’s not the good kind of bored. It’s the kind where nothing holds joy or interest anymore. You strive to fill your brain with meaningless activities, but that’s just what they remain to you: meaningless./ You miss your old life. You miss the people that used to be in it. You are tired of the people in it now. […]/ To be physically safe, faced only by the troubles within yourself, unable to conjure your demons in some external source—that must be it. The ultimate challenge.”

—Jin

“Loneliness.”

Fiction. Based on a True Isolation.

By Viviany

This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.

Trigger Warning: our program often motivates people to discuss their trauma. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, please, take a step back to address emotional flashbacks and trauma before continuing to push yourself. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline at (1-800) 273-8255.

The emptiness
prominent in this space.
Cold,
dark,
overwhelming.

My body can feel
it.

Absence of
touch,
words,
love.

The darkness
creeping.

It’s laughing at me.
Mocking me.

You little foolish girl.
Did you really think life was going your way?

Shaking and crying
trying to find some
comfort.

But it seems to be
with everyone but me.

Because I’m lonely.

I’m secluded.

I see everyone,
but no one sees me.

I was birthed in loneliness
I will die in loneliness.

My skin
holding on to
my bones
because it’s all
it’s got.

My brain throwing
all the emotions
at me
because it’s all
it’s got.

All I got is me.

My own self.

And all my demons.

They remind me
of the emptiness
that was once full,
but now
nobody wants to
fill.

Nobody wants you.
Boohoo, cry some more.

Can this loneliness
stop?

I cannot take the
silence,
thoughts,
screams.

The silence
brings back
all I hide
with companionship.

And there is
no one
now.

And all the
thoughts
are prominent
in this sick space
I don’t want to be in,
but inevitably have to lay in.

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