“I’ve kind of always been someone who has forgiven people when they have hurt or harmed me.”
Fiction. Based on a True Unexpected Roommate
by M.J Rose
This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character, or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.
Trigger Warning: our program often motivates people to discuss their trauma. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, please, take a step back to address emotional flashbacks and trauma before continuing to push yourself. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline at (1-800) 273-8255.
Living with psychopaths is not what you think. Every day that passes is seemingly normal. The daily routine strikes: you get up, brush your teeth, make breakfast, and have coffee. Psychopaths smile and greet you with kindness. They drink black coffee, sipping anxiously, gazing at a blank space of nothingness. Daydreaming or perhaps lost in a wormhole of streaming thoughts of emptiness. Psychopaths do not feel empathy. They have no pain or sense of remorse for the sake of another person’s well-being. Psychopaths are intelligent, friendly, and even laugh beside you at times. Psychopaths all hold a profile that must be maintained in order to survive. Otherwise, consequences will be made.
Psychopaths lurk quietly through the house at night. Open locks and leave doors free for other creatures to sneak in and out as they desire. Psychopaths can’t function without a daily dose of narcotics. A need to feel unreal so the true selves of the psychopaths do not come out. Damaging drugs dehumanize the soul and bring monsters to life. Psychopaths know how to instill fear by manipulation because that’s all they’ve ever known. Fear has been left to crawl inside your veins. Squeezing sweat from your skin and pinching a pit inside of your stomach. Terror is the reflection of the demons that control psychopath’s behaviors.
Discomfort settles into your blood when you realize you crossed a line. Psychopaths do not handle honesty well. Fight-or-flight signals shoot rapidly around your body. To fight with psychopaths you have to be prepared for the blow. Psychopaths know no peace. Peace is unattainable to psychopaths. The genuine spirit of connection is nonexistent. Psychopaths are a reflection of their own worst enemy. A past that brought an unforeseeable future of destruction and despair. Rotting rage will eat away the psychopath’s mask exposing the monster you never thought the truth would bring you to see.
Once you start to pay closer attention to the finer details, flight kicks in. Psychopaths can’t hide once their true colors are revealed. Psychopaths will keep using you to their own advantage until they do not need you anymore. Leaving you with no choice, but to leave. You’re on the run, again. Escaping toxicity and embracing new beginnings. The storm has not passed yet. The psychopaths are still seeking red. Get out before it is too late.