“We get stuck really easily… We want to cling to feelings…Recognize the attachment to the situation and figure out a way to let change into the situation.” – Elsa Kennedy
Fiction. Based on a True Examination.
This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.
Upset sits in your chest. Right behind the breastplate. It knocks gnarled knuckles against the inside of your bone, pushing your lungs out of its way. Rapping and tapping. The sound reverberating through your chest to your lungs and sliding down your spine. Upset slips on a vertebrae and lodges itself in your belly. Deeply twisted up in the nooks and crannies of your intestines. When Upset finally settles, its a cat purring away at the bottom of your belly. Its presence there causing distention, bloat.
Once you have located Upset, you ponder all the ways you can coax it out of you. Lulling it with some melancholy tunes. Dowsing it in cold water. Alas, Upset remains purring at the bottom of your belly.
Everyone says Jealousy is Green,
But sweetheart Jealousy is red, blue and in between.
She is a serpent with bruised ego
Whose heart succumbed to damaged pride long ago.
Jealousy dances with formidable charm
Hoping to entrance her companion with insurmountable harm.
Everyone says Jealousy is green,
But green is nature’s epinephrine
Her life blood, energy and sunlight
Jealousy could never live up to that kind of birthright
No, no – Jealousy is blood turned purple, bruised and hurt
She is loss, grief, and shame pervert.
Sadness is an air bubble sitting right in the center of your carina. The bottom of your trachea, right before the bronchi branch off into diverging paths. Sadness grows and grows causing a blockage for incoming oxygen. With nowhere to go. Backing up through your trachea. Until finally Sadness liquefies and pours out your eyes.
So where is Joy? Love? Happiness? Where do they live in your body? Maybe they live in the cracks between your laced fingers. That space where water drips out when you try to contain it. Malleable. Fleeting. Untamable. Maybe Love, Happiness, and Joy are the three Fate Sisters. Blink your eyes and they’re gone, vanished through the seams of time and space.
Joy, love and happiness aren’t emotions or feelings that stick around. They’re a ray of sunshine kissing your cheeks, but you remember the rain more than the sun.