“[A]nonymity and secrets create vulnerability to loss and frustration.”
“I Miss Me.”
Fiction. Based on a True Loss of Identity.
By Anastasia Cosima
This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.
Trigger Warning: our program often motivates people to discuss their trauma. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, please, take a step back to address emotional flashbacks and trauma before continuing to push yourself. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline at (1-800) 273-8255.
I wish I could be more honest with you. The more I try opening up to you, the greater the distance grows. Why do you keep pushing me away? Why do you keep putting me through these tests? You’re making it harder for me to want to be honest with you about anything pertaining to us.
You tell me you miss me, but I don’t feel missed. I don’t sense any longing for me on your end. I believe it is more of my company that you actually miss. I was nothing more than a distraction to you.
Do you miss me as a person? I miss me. I get the impression you wanted me around only because you enjoyed feeling special, needed, strong, and powerful.