“I’m afraid the longer I wait, the less likely I am to respond. I’m freezing up.”
“I Appreciate You.”
Fiction. Based on a True Reappraisal.
By Anastasia Cosima
This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.
Trigger Warning: our program often motivates people to discuss their trauma. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, please, take a step back to address emotional flashbacks and trauma before continuing to push yourself. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline at (1-800) 273-8255.
I no longer want to feel like a waste of time, space, and air. I desperately want a sense of control in my life. My past has proven to be nothing but exhausting: mentally, physically, and emotionally. It has only increased my desire to want something different, something better, something new.
When you and I first met, my self-esteem was critically low. I depended on you for much of everything, and for that I am sorry. It wasn’t fair of me to rely so heavily on you to meet my needs. I have worked through some of my issues, and I now realize how much deeper I need to go in order for true healing to commence. I wouldn’t have come to that realization if it weren’t for you.
I want to love and value myself as much as I love and value you. You have been one of the few positive influences in my life, and I want to thank you for being there. I appreciate you.