“We really lose sight of ‘how are you doing’, as a person.”
By Lizet Vera
“How are you?”
Fiction. Based on a True Question that Needs to Be Asked
Have you asked someone how they’re doing today? Anyone, even your mom or your siblings or whoever is close to you. Have you asked them if they slept, if they ate, if they feel good?
It’s important to ask. It’s important to be in check with those you love. People need attention and care. It’s sad to think we live among others who are suffering in silence. Helping doesn’t only mean solving another person’s problems. You can help by demonstrating compassion and offering support and hope.
We are used to a private culture where it’s not normal to ask personal questions but why? If I know you’re dealing with a hard time why hide the fact that I want to know what’s going on? It’s not about being noisy, it’s about wanting to help.
So ask the questions. If the answer is a simple “I’m fine, don’t worry” and you know they’re not, let them know you’re there. Continue to ask. Don’t wait for them to reach out, you reach out.
Actually be there. Actually provide attention. Listen.
If we believe in “community,” we have to become a more empathic society. So, next time you see someone who doesn’t look okay, ask them: “How are you? Really, how are you?” and be prepared to put on your listener’s ear. Simply acknowledging a person and listening to them may lift their spirits and condition, and remind them and you of the meaning and value of humanity.
If people pay more attention, I think we would be able to understand each other better. I think we would feel good about ourselves and the world. We would have a whole lot of hope.
Has anyone asked you? If you woke up okay? If that back pain you had subsided? Has anyone contacted you today? No? Then reach out too. Tell a person, “Hey, I need someone.” There is always someone willing to listen. Find that someone.
There isn’t someone? Write. Write it all down, like no one is going to read it. It feels so good to let every thought on paper. Now read it. Is this really how you want to feel? If it isn’t, there is always help.
Ashamed of writing and having evidence? Then scream. Scream into your pillow, into a closed room, into the open air, just scream. Let it out. There is no positive outcome if you keep it all inside.
Cry. Feelings are literally part of our bodies. Emotions are in our bodies to help us survive. So, why suppress them? Even if they’re good emotions. Don’t suppress them either, spread them. Everyone needs joy and excitement so reach out. Spread those positive emotions.
Ask. Talk. Write. Scream. Whatever. It’s the only way we can cope with this crazy journey we call life.