“Holding a Feeling” Fiction. Based on a True Heartbreak

“Well—it’s like a physical pain now. Where my heart physically is. Just, like, it hurts sometimes. It’s weird. It’s like an actual pain.” –Kera Armendariz

“Holding a Feeling”

Fiction. Based on a True Heartbreak

by Charlotte Thomas

This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.

I wanted anything; Anything and something; Maybe; Somewhere;

I wanted a place

I wanted somewhere in my mind

Where I could escape

I wanted to trap a Feeling

To encage it in my heart and in my soul

I wanted

I wanted so bad that it felt like I needed

But I didn’t

No one really needs that

No one can really hold a Feeling

Even if it feels like someone can

They know it themselves

No one can hold a Feeling

Yet it seems so palpable

So perfect

So real

That sometimes you can convince the mind

Of what it really wants

You can try and hold that sweetness in your palm

But the moment you realize it’s there

It’s already drifted away

Like the sand shifting through your fingers on a decaying beach

Even the light in your life

It exists

But it belongs to no one

Not even the person within whom you see it

It flickers and fades

Until it dissolves into the obscurity

No one can hold a Feeling

You can try

You can dream

You can wish

For that Feeling to stay forever

To exist in the high it creates

But no one can hold

A Feeling.

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