“Goodbye Lover” By Scarlett Jane

Dear you,

I am letting go. After 2 years. 2 years and then some. I am letting you go, for me.
I am letting go of all of those drunken nights spent together. I am letting you go after multiple nights spent lying in bed together. In sickness and in health. A new years kiss. A last minute prom night decision.
Fights. Loving. Hating. Forgiving. I am letting it go. Maybe when I am older, I will remember you and everything you’d given to me that first summer. You know, It was amazing while it lasted. I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought you were the best for me, you had always told me you were. Until I realized on my own you weren’t, I wanted you. I wanted us and a big house with a beautiful garden and children and puppy dogs… until I realized that would never be us. I was hanging onto a dream instead of centering myself back into the reality of the moment.
I want to say I regret you. I want to say I will never forget you, but I will as I build a life for myself.
I want to say I won’t think of you when someone asks what is the craziest thing i’ve done. I want to say I won’t remember every time you hurt me whenever my daughter goes through her first heartbreak. But I will.
I regret the one-too-many chances I gave to you. But that taught me patience, and self-respect.
I regret those family events I missed to see you, but that taught me that family means everything to me now.
As time goes on, we will forget each other.
You will forget my eyes and I will forget all of the lies.
I’m growing into a beautiful woman. I am outgrowing you.
I will always miss you.

I loved you, but now I love me more.

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