I’m honestly not sure what to write here, so i’ll answer the questions up top. I have been dealing with bipolar depression for several years now and i’ve learned…. sometimes… the pain helps. When I was younger I felt so hated by everyone, including my own family. You see, my father was never around and my step-mother absolutely hated me. She would take all her anger and frustrations out on me, and it led to me doing the same to others.. I felt so numb, that the pain seemed to be the only thing making me even feel remotely human. Sometimes you just get tired of being alone, y’know? You yearn attention. After my mom finally split, I made a vow. I will always put on a smile, so as not to burden anyone with my problems anymore. I went from being in pain, to using my knowledge of pain to help others. Yet sometimes it’s the best to just let it all go. Let it all fly out the window as if it never even existed.