“Let yourself hurt, and then when it’s time to stop hurting, let yourself move into another phase.”

—Elsa Kennedy

“Familiar Face of Fear”

Fiction. Based on a True Glimmer of Hope.

By Rebecca M.

This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional

Trigger Warning: our program often motivates people to discuss their trauma. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, please, take a step back to address emotional flashbacks and trauma before continuing to push yourself. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline at (1-800) 273-8255.

I step out into the late hours of the night
to outwalk the noise in my mind.
I try to brush it off
but the brush keeps painting portraits
of the familiar face of fear—
Strokes of different colors,
each a darker shade than the last.

Unhealed thoughts leave a scar.
Numbness consumes my mind,
and the pain becomes my home, my comfort.
I step into it.
It embraces me with a warm, welcoming grin
then pulls me deeper into darkness.

With one last look at the empty street,
I walk back into the house’s confines,
shutting the door on endless opportunities—
all within reach whenever I’m ready.