The Lone Wolf Shadow
You find yourself more comfortable alone. You find people fake at best and full of deceit, lies, and malice at worst. You don’t like drama. You don’t like people gossiping. You don’t like manipulation. You would rather stay away from all the toxic behavior by being in solitude. You get more things done. You have dreams. You have no time for nonsense. You just want to hit your target and keep it moving. You find others often times weigh you down from your dreams so it’s better to lose them to keep yourself.
Integrate the Wolf Pack
The Helpless Shadow
You don’t know why you keep attracting hurt people who want to hurt you in the process of being there for them. You feel in this vicious cycle of wanting to move on but not knowing how. You’ve been abused and used in the past and you thought you had moved past this but for some reason you keep attracting the same type of person even though they are very different on the outside. You can’t escape this “type” of person it seems. It makes you feel hopeless that you would ever find real healthy love. You’re close to giving up. You find yourself unhappy even when happy things happen because you can’t seem to break this one curse you find yourself stuck in.
Integrate the Independent
The Martyr Shadow
You put others’ needs before yours. You often find yourself secretly hating yourself when you agree to things that you actually don’t want to do. You think that by being a good person you can inspire the other to change, even though you don’t express this sentiment out in the open. You get guilt feelings when you set boundaries with people. It’s hard saying no because you don’t like it when someone gets upset or mad over you. You find it hard to do things for yourself that brings delight, fun, and joy like going to the spa, taking a vacation, learning a new skill, or having a fun day to just go out with friends and have a laugh. You believe the purpose of life is self-sacrifice, but in that process, you are beginning to lose your identity in the service of others. As a result, you have lost respect for yourself.
Integrate the Manifestor
The Perfectionist Shadow
You are hardly ever satisfied. You have this uncanny ability to notice all the things that can be improved. This impulse to fix can be a bit obsessive at worst and distracting at best. You oftentimes miss the joy of the moment because you are consumed by the things that are not good or that could be better. You are pretty hard on yourself when it comes to making progress in your life. You often stay up at night working on things because you can’t seem to sleep without that thing getting done on your time table. You may find yourself setting goals that you can not realistically achieve because maybe the bar is set too high. You secretly criticize others but in the end you beat yourself up the most when it comes to criticism. You are stressed, overworked, tired, and joyless.
Integrate the Present
The Walls Up Shadow
You blocked out a lot of childhood memories or at least you don’t remember the details when someone asks you about your past. You don’t know why you get so defensive when someone is being overly nice or helpful. There’s a part of you that don’t trust nice people because it seems like a trick or there may be some kind of catch behind it. You also trust that people will make mistakes sooner or later so it’s better to just figure it out yourself and do it. You don’t like asking for help because then you would feel like you owe them or that they have some kind of leverage over you. You have people in your life relying on you so it’s important to minimize making mistakes with the wrong people. It’s better to have a guard up so that you don’t get manipulated and harmed by bad actors.
Integrate the Walls Down
The Supporting Cast Shadow
You seem to be an afterthought in people’s minds. You get invited to parties, but mostly as the wingman. You seem like the sidekick to someone else’s hero story. You can’t shake the feeling of losing yourself a bit just to maintain a relationship that you really no longer desire to be in. You don’t feel seen, heard, or understood. You find yourself resenting the person you hang out with who has casted you as his/her/their number two. You find yourself secretly jealous of this person, but really just yearning to become independent, discovering who you really are without outside influences and projections. There is a hidden desire in you to re-discover who you truly are by breaking away from people who have already type-casted you in a role that you no longer want to play.
Integrate the Hero
The Rejector Shadow
You have been betrayed in the past. The pain that you have hidden from the world is sharp, deep, and heavy. People don’t know just how the heartbreak changed you because you have put on a mask of strength after surviving your past. However, your mask is a self-defensive mechanism where anybody who tries to get too close to you, you will push away or reject eventually because you know longer want to risk the pain that comes with giving away your unconditional trust and intimacy to someone who could possibly abuse it again. It is not that you don’t want connection. It is that you are aware that every person is flawed in some way, so sooner or later the flaws will show. If those flaws are harmful to you, you don’t want to be stuck in a relationship where you put yourself in harms way again, so it’s best to push people way or at least keep them at an arm’s distance.
Integrate the Acceptor
The Outsider Shadow
You have moved around a few times and lost close friendships that kind of broke your heart. You’ve learned that you don’t quite belong in any one group. When you are in group settings, you have this desire to leave and go somewhere else. If you could be any spirit animal, it would be a bird. You’ve realized at an early age that you’ve felt like an extraterrestrial. You’ve grown comfortable being a constant outsider. You prefer solitude, but sometimes the loneliness hits you hard and you don’t know what to do with it.
Integrate the Insider
The Love Withdrawn Shadow
You have not been in a close intimate relationship in a long time. You would be considered a love anorexic because of how much you’ve deprived yourself of love and all of its ups and downs. You have been so deprived that you’re pretty much numbed at this point. You woudln’t even know where to start when it comes to starting a relationship. The thought of starting over overwhelms you and you shut down.
Integrate the Love Within