“If you surrender to the air, you can ride it.”
by Toni Morrison
“Changing of the Seasons”
Fiction. Based on a True Self Discovery.
by Noah Taylor
This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.
It’s that time of year again. The time where you go through all your closet and pack away all of your dresses, tank tops, rompers, and swimsuits to replace their hangers with thick winter coats and sweaters. The time where all your baseball caps are replaced with beanies, and your scarves find their way onto your coat rack daily. You pull all the cute dresses, rompers, and jumpsuits out first and pack them at the bottom of the now empty winter tub. You step away to take an edible, and returned shortly after to finish your work. You have completed switching out the tight, unforgiving, and thin fabrics; what replaces them now are supple, lenient, and thick knits. You smile at your gorgeously arranged closet as the edible sets in: your eyebrows suddenly heavy enough to relax your eyes into content, downturned crescent moons while the whites of your eyes reflect lines of ruby.
From July to September, you spend the brightest, longest days of your year in unspeakable, unlit hours of depression. The months of October to December is what proves the strength of your resilience as they force you out of your self-inflicted gloom. Snuggling on the couch and binge watching Netflix is suddenly acceptable and encouraged when the chill steals the moisture from the leaves, not quite killing the trees yet forcing them to remain dormant. As the heavy clouds of endless rain roll over Portland, the appeal to lazily stay inside all day contaminates apartment complex after apartment complex in the larger Multnomah County Area. As the people of Portland layer thick coat after thick coat to protect their bones from the brisk cold, the importance of the perfect physique is suddenly nonexistent. We overindulge our calorie intake because we understand that, under all the thick coats layering us, is the vessel of a spirit that is merely trying to survive a season where the Earth is devastatingly depleted.
The smile that blooms on your face is from the recollection that you had been building your fall wardrobe all year without even meaning to. How could you not have been attracted to overwhelming comfortable, soft, forgiving clothes with your self esteem the way it is? Your clothes are adorable and trendy again because of your hard work, and you feel confident with yourself again. You color your hair a dark purple that will compliment your varying shades of lipstick. You draw on perfectly even eyeliner to decorate the part of your face that will probably be the only thing visible to people passing you on the street. This is your season to thrive.