“Light a fire in the dark.”
Fiction. Based on a True Sense of Purpose
This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character, or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.
Trigger Warning: our program often motivates people to discuss their trauma. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, please, take a step back to address emotional flashbacks and trauma before continuing to push yourself. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline at (1-800) 273-8255.
The tea was an impulse buy. You hadn’t eaten anything all morning, and it was one of those mornings where things kept going wrong.
Cat vomited all over the desk at 6 am.
Your liquid cover-up spilled.
Your stomach didn’t feel right.
When you went to buy the tea, you didn’t see that it was cash only until they had already made the tea. You only had 88 pence on you, but they still took it. Half the price.
As you took that first sip, molten liquid filled your mouth. It felt like everything was melting. Tea ended up on your shirt. You almost wanted to throw it away, but you don’t like to waste things. So, you sat down, mouth on fire and wary of taking another sip.
You eventually finished the tea. It wasn’t bad. You had every intention of going to get cash and come back, but you didn’t.
It wasn’t until you were reading through Isaiah when the angel holds a burning coal to his lips and says his lips are now clean that you felt a connection. You’ve been on the precipice of a “Send me” moment for a while. Ending up in Scotland was a quiet response to the call to be sent. The rough burned feeling along your tongue and lips reminded you of the weight of the call you answered—the one you’re continually answering on a daily basis. You don’t feel like you have Isaiah’s excitement and urgency, but maybe you should.
The burns remind you of the commitment you’ve made. It’s a small reminder of those who have gone before you and have gotten burned.