What I came to accomplish is to move forward and let go of the past two years of my life that has been filled with heartbreak, depression, loneliness, losing myself. Having gotten through the hardest two years of my life I came here to end that chapter and open up a new one and to new possibilities.
What I am actually accomplishing is saying goodbye to you.
Our story is the most beautiful experience I’ve ever been through. It was magical, it was loving, passionate, connected, we had a real life serendipitous fairytale. You saved me and I do believe I’m still here today because of you. You gave my heart just enough to hold on and learn how to love again. You showed me what kind of love that I didn’t even know existed. I know what we had together and I know we both wish we could change our situation. We just met in the wrong time zone. I miss you every single day. I miss your touch, I miss our connection, I miss your smell. I miss everything. I know that you never meant to hurt me.
I love you but I can no longer tell our story. I can no longer keep myself in this relationship for my mentality and for my future.
To a man that I gave all my power to. To a man that withheld information from me that took me to an even darker place than I’d ever been before. I get to move on. I get to release you from my future and put you back in my past where you belong.
The possibility that I have invented for myself and my life is the possibility of being free. To be an independent woman who gets to fall in love with myself. Who gets to learn who I am and live a life where my heart is whole and where my heart is healed. I get to see the beauty in life again. I want to grow and become the best version of myself. I want to live a life of gratitude and presence. I want a peace of mind. I want to be love. I want to be the observer, and most of all I just don’t want to take life so seriously.
With all this back and forth I’ve been doing and the commitment to myself I keep breaking over and over every time I go back …I want to make a new commitment. If I can’t do it for myself I know who I can do it for. I will do it for the people I have never met before. To the soul mate and husband I dream about and to the kids I already hold a space of unconditional love for that deserve a strong Mom; one that deserves to be respected.
If you love me you will leave me,
I forgive you.