A Strong But Defeatable Darkness

“These are situations that will pass…” Keith Murray

“That depth and that pain is something that he can’t avoid unless he loses himself completely…” Ashi Dala from HOTT MT

A Strong but Defeatable Darkness.

Fiction. Based on a True Story.


This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional.

Trigger Warning: our program often motivates people to discuss their trauma. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, please, take a step back to address emotional flashbacks and trauma before continuing to push yourself. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, call 911 or the National Suicide Hotline at (1-800) 273-8255.

He realized that, for him, the feeling of success in life would never come from work, money, or popularity. True success for him could only be measured by how much he could reclaim his power and his control over his own body and his own life, after all of the trauma.

After the spiral, after being stifled, after not having control over his own being for so long, he would only feel at peace and as if he accomplished something by finally feeling empowered and fully in control of himself.

When there was less discomfort, less of that feeling of needing to escape his own body. More of feeling stable, and centered. More contentment with the simplest things. Less dependence on others for emotional satisfaction.

He could see that he was making a way towards this, finally. He could see that even the worst things he thought could happen, did happen. Even the things he thought he would never survive, he did.

He realized that every bad situation has to pass. He finally understood that not just the good, but the bad too, is only temporary. He now knew that he didn’t have to give up his entire being, his essence, in order to continue through life.

Instead, he began to accept that his essence was composed of both the good and the bad, and that the bad and the pain was just as much a part of him and his story as the joy and the good.

His essence was one of deep emotion, insight, and awareness because of everything he had seen, felt, and experienced thus far.

He slowly shed his uncertainty and fear. He stopped living a fragmented life. He embraced his darkness. Darkness that, in the end, was easily overpowered by glowing, joyous light.

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